Dream Big (the continuing saga)

A Beautiful Service for a Beautiful Woman

2011-10-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

I have been avoiding a blog entry about mom's Celebration of Life. I have been wanting to write about it, but I don't know where to start. For those of you from out of the area, or who weren't able to attend the service, there were approximately 800 people who came to celebrate her life. Mom's freind, Shelly, helped us create a wonderful slideshow of photos. Nancy Lee Grahn sent us a home video she filmed while visiting my family in 2007 and we played that video at the service as well. I wanted to speak but I didn't think I could make it thru without crying so I asked mom's good friend, Pastor Mitch, to read my thoughts. I have received a few emails from people who were there who have asked me to post my speech on the blog. So, I will leave you with my thoughts.

"When our father died last April we were on over-load. We were trying to make funeral arrangements for dad while still focusing on mom’s health and emotional well-being. When his service came, we discussed the idea of speaking but no one felt they could make it thru the speech without crying. So we passed on the opportunity. Now, only 18 months later, as we prepared the celebration of life service for our mom, we find ourselves in the same predicament. I don’t want to look back later with regrets so here goes….

I am blessed. My family is blessed. Don’t be sad for us. Although my mom’s time on this earth was much shorter than we would have liked, Doreen was my mom, and that in itself is a gift. Many of you under the age of 35 thought of her as your “other mom” but we were the lucky ones…. and we never took that for granted.

You learn a lot about someone when they come face to face with the life and death struggle of a disease like cancer. From an emotional perspective, cancer is one of the most devastating pronouncements a person can receive. You find yourself living outside of the physical realm of reality at times….But, the truth is, when you hear the word “cancer” you have an immediate choice to make. You can get caught up in the idea that you might be dying…. Or you can get busy living. What happens to you in life is usually not within your control, but how you respond to those things most certainly is.

I don’t want to talk about the things I have lost these past few years….I want to focus on what I have gained. I learned early on that the character traits worth having are those you acquire at the cost of personnel sacrifice. We have all sacrificed during these difficult times but I wouldn’t change one step I have taken on this path. We have been living in the moment while still focusing on the big picture. Life did not pass us by.

My mom will be fondly remembered for the compassion in her heart. She loved and respected everyone, regardless of their differences. Her kindness and encouragement to others makes for a legacy that will remain long after her death… and for that we are grateful.

There are a lot of young people in the room today, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. She loved kids, and young adults. She valued everyone, regardless of their age and she made them feel important. She especially loved the inspirational kids who might not be the star athlete but the ones with the best attitudes, who made their teammates and friends better people. Those are the kids she loved the most, and those are the kind of kids we will continue to support and mentor, just as my mom would want us to.

She taught me… the kind of person I am is a matter of my character, not my circumstances. And I learned that from the best. When my mom could not change her circumstances, she chose to change her perspective about them. She didn’t view cancer as a curse, she viewed life as an amazing gift.

My mom inspired me to do better… to be kinder… and be more patient. She taught me to give more, and take less. She would encourage all of us to motivate others and take the time to mentor young people. I think she would also encourage us to volunteer our time…. Or at least a smile… to people who might not expect it, but probably need it the most. Because… the truth is, no one was a stranger to my mom, they were simply a friend she hadn’t met yet.

I learned that tough times will either break you, or they will make you. I think it’s fair to say we’ve had a few moments of each, but we did more “making” than “breaking”. Although I was slow to give into the idea that some things in life can’t be fixed…. life became much easier when I finally accepted that the only thing in the world I could change was my view on life.

Mom made me realize that if you’re not doing something every day to make someone else’s life better, you are wasting precious time that could be spent improving your family, your community, and yourself. I hope we all get the chance to live like we are dying someday, because from where I’m standing, it’s a blessing in disguise.

I am not consumed by the fact she has died, I am simply grateful that she lived. I would choose quality of life over quantity of days, whenever given the opportunity. I believe the greater loss is not for those of us who knew her, but for those who did not. My sadness is for the children who will never sit on her lap and giggle as she speaks to them in her “Donald Duck” voice… or the young adults who won’t get to hear one of her heart felt talks about what it means to be a good friend… or a good parent.

Throughout this process I have learned that when we believe life won’t give us more than we can bear; we can bear so much more than we thought possible.

On behalf of my family, I want to express our sincere gratitude for your out-pouring of support, love, and heartfelt sympathy during this difficult time. We ask that you dry your eyes, keep your head up, and smile…. That’s what mom would want."

Dreaming Big-
Amy

Quote of the Day

2011-10-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, while at mom's house, I started reading a book I found on her bookshelf. The book is called "Saving Graces," by Elizabeth Edwards. I only made it a little ways into the book before things got worse with mom and I put the book down. This morning, I picked up the book and it made me sad for a minute. It brought back the memory of where I was when I started reading the book. It brought back the reminder that I was reading a book about a woman with cancer. When I opened the book I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. On the bookmark, in my mom's handwriting, it said, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." I'm not sure why I hadn't noticed that before, but I do know that I love my new bookmark and look forward to finishing this inspiring book.

Thanks for the quote mom...
Amy

Dreaming Big, Living Large

2011-10-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

Attached is an article that was in today's Stanwood Newspaper, written by Jeremiah O'Hagen. I thought those of you from out of town would appreciate a chance to read it.
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When Doreen Schmitt passed away last week, it wasn't a death so much as a miracle.

Schmitt was diagnosed with stage-four, non-smoking lung cancer in April 2006. She wasn't supposed to live for five-and-a-half more years. But did she ever.

Scroll through her blogs (cancersurvivor2006.blogspot.com ; imaginenocancer.blogspot.com) and you will lose yourself in a woman's insatiable appetite for life.

You might also cry.

"I woke up this morning feeling really scared for the first time," she typed on April 30, 2006. "I looked in the mirror and I saw Doreen... and then I remembered the 'C' word. I remembered how 11 days ago I was just living a normal life and then it all changed."

But you will also laugh and rediscover with her the simple pleasures of wearing flip-flops ("life's too short not to"), or of Copper River salmon, or of a reunion with 8 former cheerleaders.

"We laughed about the past, talked of the present, and dreamed about the future," Schmitt wrote the next day.

And you will learn, really feel it in your guts, that when Schmitt dreamed about the future, she dreamed of life so full her arms couldn't contain it.

So, she spilled in onto her family and friends.

"My mom's story is about family, not cancer," said Amy Schmitt. "She was very grateful for the opportunity to become an advocate for living life to the fullest."

Schmitt's other daughter, Angie, said, "In many ways, (her final years were) more inspiring than sad. It can make you or break you- it made us."

Not that watching Schmitt get sick didn't break hearts. And after Schmitt was diagnosed, her husband Rick found out he had cancer, too. He died 18 months ago.

"We were just getting over that, and now mom's gone, too," Angie said. "A tough part of it is the permanence piece."

If loss is permanent, good can be, too, and Schmitt lived that belief, infusing her world with energy and grace.

"If you were to poll the audience (at her memorial service), you'd find many people who would say that she was their best friend," Angie said. "She was so welcoming to everybody. She didn't judge people. As my sister said, there were no strangers to my mom, only friends she hadn't met yet."

"She was as much of a role model for adults as she was for children," Amy said. "I think of her laugh, and that infectious smile that lit up the room. And, although it doesn't seem real that she isn't coming home, I find joy in knowing she's no longer in pain."

Schmitt most often signed off her blogs, "Dreaming Big." Over the last months, she took to typing, "Love you more." Between the two sentiments, you find a life.

Angie said her mom's goal was always, always, to "beat this disease."

"She was a person with cancer, "Angie said, "She was not a cancer patient. She didn't let it define her."

Schmitt didn't beat death. No one does.

But, wielding unflagging optimism, voluminouss love and profound commitment to dreams, to leaving something precious and vital in her wake, Doreen Schmitt beat cancer.

(Staff Reporter Jeremiah O'Hagen: (360) 629-8066 Ext 125 or ohagan@scnews.com)

Loving you more... when you're dreaming big....
Amy

Questions Answered

2011-10-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

We would like to thank you all for the support over the past two days. This is a difficult time for us but we are working together to create a celebration of life service that will honor the wonderful woman that mom was. We have been asked the same two questions over and over during the last 24 hours so we thought we would answer both question for everyone to hear. First, if you want to make a donation in my mom's name you can send it to the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation, 1100 Industrial Road, Suite 1, San Carlos, CA 94070. Next, if you are one of those people looking to bring a food dish to the service on Saturday we are still in need of some salads. Please do not bring your salad in your favorite bowl, just in case it gets accidentally misplaced by the crew working in the kitchen that day.

There will be a public viewing at Gilberton's Funeral Home on Thursday October 13 at 9:00 AM and it will continue through Friday at closing. Contact Gilbertson's at 360-629-2101 for more details.

Thanks again for your support of our family during this challenging time,
Angie

Doreen Lynn Schmitt: May 30, 1958- October 11, 2011

2011-10-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

It's with great sadness that we tell you Mom lost her battle with cancer earlier today. She was such a fighter and a huge inspiration for all of us. As we begin the mourning process and prepare funeral arrangements we ask that you keep her family and friends in your thoughts and prayers. This has been a difficult path to follow the past 5 years, but we have grown significantly in the process. In losing our mom we know we have gained many true friends along the way. Thank you for supporting all of us through good times and bad.

Sincerely-
The luckiest Kids in the World

Funeral Services will be held at the Camano Chapel on Camano Island, Saturday October 15th at 1100, with a luncheon to follow. A private burial will take place at Anderson Cemetary in Stanwood.

Camano Chapel
867 SW Camano Drive
Camano Island, WA 98282

A public viewing will take place on Friday at Gilbertson's Funeral home in Stanwood. Call Gilbertson's for more details. (360) 629-2101.

If you want to share a story or memory about Doreen with us kids, please email Pastor Mich Michl at michmichl@camanochapel.org

Being Tested

2011-09-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am struggling to write. I have stared at the screen for 5 minutes. I have changed the title numerous times. I am standing on the invisible fence, not sure which way to jump. I can jump to one side and tell you that we are continuing to hope for the best as we enjoy every second we have with mom. All of which is true. Or I can be real and tell you how things have been the past few days. I am torn because I know there are people who get hope from this blog, but there are others who want us to be honest and paint an accurate picture of how cancer can change lives. I will do my best to be brutally honest while still allowing my mom the dignity of some privacy in her final days.

The truth of the matter is that my mom is not ready to die. She has too much fight in her. Although last week she was showing many signs that the end was imminently near, she has since experienced many additional changes. Her breathing has stabilized somewhat. She rarely complains of pain. She went from being unable to eat or drink to asking for small meals and lots of water. She went from laying in bed sleeping all the time to sometimes sitting in a chair and often talking with us. All of those things sound great, but here is the catch. Although her end of life symptoms have stabilized, other things have gotten worse.

The tumors in her brain have causes many of the behavior changes we are experiencing. She has surges of energy but they are spent trying to get out of bed on legs that aren't stable enough to walk. She talks a lot, but it is usually all night long and throughout most of the day and quite often she doesn't make any sense. She is experiencing cranial pressure from the swelling in her brain. It appears to be affecting her walking, talking, eyesight, and many other functions. It is similar to caring for an Alzheimer's patient. She usually knows who people are, if she is able to focus on the person. She is still a great hugger and likes to give kisses. If we tell her we love her, she tells us she loves us too. Mom is still the loving, caring parent and friend that all of us have always know, but now she is losing her personal battle within her own body.

Mom started wheezing again last night. The hospice nurse came to the house today and told us that it sounds as though mom's left lung is not really working at all and the part of her right lung that still works seems to have pneumonia in it. After a call to Dr. Eaton to determine if an antibiotic is the right choice at this stage of the game, it was determined that any additional drugs would be inappropriate. They are increasing the medicine which helps to relieve the swelling around her brain though. We are hoping the boost in Deximethizone will help to provide her with a clearer mind.

It would certainly be easy for us to complain about the cards we have been dealt lately, from the 15 hour power outage this past weekend that prevented mom's oxygen machine from working, or the fact her hospice nurse has had back to back emergencies in her family so mom has had 5 different nurses in the past week. It seems to be one thing after another lately but the caring friends we have in our lives are just as consistent as the recent roadblocks. Many people have brought us food and it has been very helpful to feed the house full of relatives and caregivers on a daily basis. Friends have brought cases of water, and Kleenex, and in the case of power outages... Lanterns to see, and fans to keep mom cooled down. We know that we have the best support system possible.

I want to remind you how appreciative my family is for the caregivers in our lives and the wonderful friends who go out of their way to help us take care of the things we can't do on our own. I have learned a lot about people throughout the past few weeks and I am grateful for the selfless angels around us.

Please continue to wrap us in your loving arms-
Amy

Emotional Week

2011-09-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

This week has been physically and emotionally draining for all of us. On Sunday mom made significant changes and we were all encouraged to come to the house so we could say our goodbyes. Then Monday came... then Tuesday, etc, and here we are at Friday morning and we are still blessed with her presence. Although much of her days are spent resting, she occasionally opens her eyes for a few moments and smiles or gives us little kisses. Those moments are priceless to us. We are very torn between wanting to have a few more of those special moments with mom, and wanting her to let go and be free from pain.

As a family we have experienced many different emotions this week. We have also grown even stronger as a family when we sit down to deal with the tough stuff. Friends and family members have been very supportive, as always. Some of us haven't left the house since Sunday but we have special friends who have made sure we always have coffee in the mornings and food throughout the day. Without them, I think it's likely we would forget to take care of ourselves the way we should.

During a good moment on Thursday she wanted to sit up for a few minutes. The sun was setting off of her bedroom balcony so we got her into her wheelchair and opened the blinds so she could sit with her dad and enjoy a special moment. I have attached the photo above. Moments like these are very special to everyone right now.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and well wishes for our family. If you are sending prayers, please pray for strength, closure, and an abundance of love.

Amy

It's Time

2011-09-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

Over the past few days things have changed drastically with my mom. Her coughing got really bad on Friday and that made her breathing extremely labored. We have promised her all along that when she gets to the point where she feels like she is drowning or suffocating we will increase her medicine so she doesn't know its happening. That time has come. As of Friday afternoon hospice increased her medicine so she is heavily medicated and rarely coughs. She spends the majority of her time sleeping.

Over the past few days she has received short visits from friends and family. I think the visits have allowed people to have closure at a time when mom is still fairly lucid. She has expressed her fears, some of which we could resolve simply with our reassurances that things will be fine and her children will be loved. She seems to have a hard time when she thinks about unfinished business. She expressed sadness that she won't be around to hold Jake and Megan's baby when it arrives, but everyone has assured her that they will be the best fill-in grandparents around.

There aren't words to explain the atmosphere in mom's house. These walls are filled with sadness, an abundance of love, and the best caregivers a person could hope for. Two friends have brought us food to get us through the day so nobody has to leave the house (thank you Lervick and Reid families). We continue to search for strength at this time of need, but we are filled with hope that mom seems very much at peace with the stage she is at.

As for all of you, please know that my family is very appreciative of the kind words and loving prayers that you continue to send our way.

With love-
Amy

Doreen Update

2011-09-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Things continue to change with my mom. She meets with her hospice team a few days a week and she really seems to like the ladies who are assigned to her. They do all they can to keep her comfortable. She is on a number of pain medicines and anti-anxiety drugs which seem to help when she starts coughing. Her coughing attacks can happen at any time but they seem to be worse in the middle of the night... often waking up every two hours to the feeling of being suffocated. It is scary for her, and we all hate to see how it effects her body when she is struggling to breathe. The reality is, her breathing is very limited these days and she often needs to be medicated just to recover from the painful coughing attacks. Her comfort, and happiness, is the most important thing for all of us.

We will continue to live life to the fullest and enjoy each day, but we are certainly living with a purpose more than ever. We will try to do a better job of updating the blog, but you can always call her house if you want to get a quick update on her status.

Thank you for your well wishes-
Amy

2011-09-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday we had a special ceremony to celebrate Amy's promotion from Captain to Major. It was an honor to get to be a part of it. Ann McCune had the honors to make it happen. Thank you Ann. It was very special.

Over the past week I've been meeting with hospice nurses and other hospice staff and they are so wonderful.

School started for kids all over Washington this week. Jake has kids in class already, Angie starts with kids next week.

Keep dreaming big,
Doreen

Call 867-5309...

2011-08-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, you're right...that number belongs to "Jenny" (from the 1982 Tommy Tutone song) not Doreen, but if you don't know Doreen's phone number, now is the time to learn it. (360) 629-4398. My mom has never turned away a visitor, even when she should. There have been times when her white counts were low, she wasn't feeling well, or she was simply just too exhausted to talk yet she never tells any of you. Now, that must change. As our family transitions into this next phase of the cancer process there will be times when vistors simply won't be allowed in the house. With that being said, if you are one of the people who stop by without calling ahead, you might see a "No Visitors" sign on the door. It might be because she isn't feeling well, or it might be because she is out doing something fun, but nonetheless, when the sign is on the door please respect her wishes and come back a different day.

After meeting with her hospice team again today mom has agreed to make some changes to the way she has been doing things. She has always shared her thoughts with us about end of life care and how she wants things to be handled. The immediate family has known, but now mom understands that these types of messages need to be shared with all of you as well. She doesn't want us to "look like the bad guy" when we stop allowing visitors or ask someone to leave the house who isn't creating a comforting environment for the family. We know her wishes and by now you must know that we will do whatever she desires.

This message isn't meant to be dark and depressing. Mom is fine. Nothing is different in the past week. Sure, her coughing is getting worse, but everything else is the same. We are not discussing signs on the door to discourage you from seeing her... we just want you to call ahead to make sure the timing is good. At this point, it's all about mom. Lots of people want their "Dor time" but Dor only has so much energy. So... the point of tonight's blog post is to say pick up the phone and call ahead between the hours of 10am and 8pm. Ten seems to be her wake up time and unfortunately 2 or 3am seems to be her bedtime half of the time, but 8pm is "closing time" at the Schmitt house.

Thank you for understanding and respecting her wishes, and she looks forward to talking to you soon-

Be well-
Amy

More Changes

2011-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since the BBQ a few weeks ago. We knew mom was scheduled to meet with Dr. Eaton on August 10th to determine if she would continue with her medical treatment. A few days before her appointment she told us she had already made her decision to stop treatment. She has explained to us that over the years she was usually holding her breath waiting for her scan results, hoping for good results. Going into her appointments she never seemed to know what to expect. She has admitted to everyone that recently, she didn't need a scan to tell her that her cancer had gotten worse. She already knew because she felt so much worse. Dr. Eaton was happy that mom agreed to stop treatment. He said although he would like to tell her that her cancer was stable, he knows that it is growing and he thinks it would be "irresponsible" to continue treating her with chemotherapy options. The chemotherapy is hurting her body, not helping it. Once mom got past the idea that she was "giving up", she has seemed to be at peace with her decision to stop taking meds and start living life.

On August 10th, mom agreed to begin working with hospice. As a family, we think that is the right choice. We had a good, yet brief, experience with hospice last year with my dad. We will certainly get to know our hospice team much more than we did when they were assisting my dad. My dad was on hospice for 6 or 7 days. Mom has told us repeatedly that she intends to stay on hospice for so long they kick her off the program because she isn't "sick enough". I hope she is right. In the mean time, we had our first family hospice meeting this past saturday to discuss options. We feel comfortable with them and we look forward to welcoming them into our lives.

Mom has spent the past few days with Angie and Shannon at the Alderbrook Resort, getting massages and eating good food. I have spoken with her a few times and it sounds like she is having a blast. She gets home today and I'm sure she is going to be exhausted... in a good way. That's what we like to see.

Dreaming Big-

Amy

BBQ Update

2011-08-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

So happy to tell you that the BBQ was a whopping success. We had over 150 people stop by to say hello. What a joy it was for me to see how many friends and loved ones we have surrounding us....even with a last minute invite. I'll post photos of the event as I get some. Thank you to everyone who attended and those who sent messages that you couldn't make it. A special thanks to my high school buddies and my old boss, Piccolo, who stopped by a few days before the party to celebrate in private.

I just had my deck refreshed...new railings, new decking (where it was needed) by my neighbors Larry and Mike. What an awesome job they did. Call me if you need any work done, they come highly recommended. Now I just need a paint job an I'll be good to go.

I'm adjusting to the fact that my lung capacity sucks. I've been using the scooter at the grocery store, a wheelchair to get into the Storm game, I try to avoid stairs unless I'm going down. All these changes seem to be making my breathing easier. It's hard to give up the freedom I used to have but if I didn't make these changes soon, my body would have done it for me. I have so much help around me that I'm never without someone lending a hand to make a job easier for me. Blessed, I tell you.. Blessed.

Wednesday is a big doctor appointment day. We'll be deciding whether to continue with the Tarceva or not. I'm ready to be done with it. No changes. Nothing is improving. Just more chemicals going into my body. I think I'm ready to just let my body have a rest and follow the course that was meant for me. Not giving up, just following a new path. I want to feel as good as I can, for as long as I can and if that means living on hopes and prayers then that's the path I'll follow.

I love you more than all the friends I have in my little green book,
Big Dreamer Dor

Schmitt BBQ Scheduled for Sunday July 31

2011-07-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends! We set a date and time for the Schmitt Family/Friends BBQ. It is scheduled for next Sunday July 31 from 3:00-7:00 pm at my home in Stanwood. I will provide a variety of foods and some drinks but ask that you bring a lawn chair and your sunglasses because I have requested sunshine that day. Let's hope my wish is granted! If you need directions to my house, have additional questions or simply want to confirm that you are coming to the party, email one of the girls. They are much quicker to reply to your emails!

Angie: Ajschmitt12@gmail.com

Amy: Amyzoe@hotmail.com

See you Sunday!

Dreaming Big,
Dor

It's Real

2011-07-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

Real sick of cancer. Real sick of being sick. Real sick of hearing about sickness.

There. I got that off my chest. Now let's talk about the REAL stuff. We all know that I've been the luckiest lung cancer patient around. I've had more kinds of treatment than any of Dr. Eaton's other patients. We've used every possible chemotherapy drug available at SCCA to keep my cancer from growing. With that being said today's scan showed the cancer is progressing (now more in my right lung...in the past my left lung has been the worst). So, we are going to give Tarceva another month to make a difference and if it doesn't work then I will go off it and my medical treatment will be over. Today was the first time Dr. Eaton mentioned Hospice and we all gasped at the word. Sounds life ending doesn't it? Or, if you look at it from my perspective, perhaps life will just begin again for me. I won't have to worry about scans and results. I will just get to live my life with my friends and family doing all the things I love to do. When my time is up (and none of us knows when that might be) I will have said and done all the things that are important.

I took the kids out for lunch today after my appointment (though no one was very hungry) and we talked about having a Schmitt Family Summer Open House one day soon so I can visit with any and all of you who make a difference in our lives. Keep watching for more details.

Don't be sad about this news. Be thankful. Thankful that I've outlived my prognosis. And...remember, I don't listen to statistics anyway. It's math and I don't do math.

Love you more,
Dreaming Big Dor

Golden Rules

2011-07-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

1. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

2. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

These are some of the basic rules of life we learn when we are in kindergarten, if not before. We are taught to play fair and treat others nicely. Well, lately, cancer hasn't been playing by the golden rules. It certainly isn't treating my mom the way it would want to be treated. It isn't playing fair, and it certainly isn't treating others nicely. So, with that being said, my mom is referring back to the rule, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Over the past month, my mom's cancer has begun to get progressively worse. Her coughing has gotten to the point where she is often leaning over a toilet hoping she would cough up lung fluid but on occasion has found that the deep coughing has lead to bouts of vomiting and pain.

Although her lung scan isn't until next week, we would be naive to think that her lungs are "stable." She feels worse and sounds worse. Twice she has made a comment to me about being scared sometimes when she can't breath and how she feels like someone is going to find her dead from hyperventilating and suffocating. Although I hope she is exaggerating slightly, we all know that it has to be extremely scary when you can't get enough oxygen.

Due to feeling so much worse, Dr. Eaton has started mom on Tarceva again. It was the original drug she took in April of 2006 and it worked on her for 30 months. Obviously they stopped the drug for a reason in 2008, it wasn't as affective as it had been in the past, but at this point Tarceva is her only option. So, Tarceva it is. The hope is that Tarceva will have some affect on the cancer cells that are new since 2008 and have never seen Tarceva. At this point she is willing to try anything that will bring her some relief.

She had a follow up appointment with her gamma knife/brain doctors this past Monday. They told her that nothing has shrunk since her last surgery, or if it had, there are new ones because she has the same amount of spots in similar areas. When she asked about going back in for surgery they told her that she is only a candidate if her cancer is "stable" below the neck. At this point, she doesn't qualified for another gamma knife surgery unless the tumors begin to affect her eye sight or speech. They would go into her brain again if that were the case because they would want her quality of life to be better.

So, as you can see, the month long break from writing on her blog is probably well deserved. My mom has a lot on her mind and lots of emotional things she is trying to get thru. Overall, mom is still mom. When she is feeling well she is still as funny as ever. She has gotten out of the house a few times recently to have fun with friends, take a trip to Desert Aire with Angie and I over the 4th of July weekend, and visit Jake and Megan at their house for dinner. She is living in the moment and focusing on the things that bring her joy. If you are one of those things, you might want to consider giving her a call and making her smile.

We hope all is well with you and yours-
Amy

Hi Friends :)

2011-06-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

Not much happening, but I thought I'd write a blog just so you know I'm still around.

My head gets better everyday (I usually wake up with a headache that is easily relieved by Tylenol). I can't believe how quickly the brain heals after it's been messed with. I still cough everyday but that's old news that I've been living with for over 5 years. What's another 5 years?

Amy is laid up at home with a bad neck. I'm not sure what she did to hurt it so much but she's been in bed for a day and a half on ice, muscle relaxants and ibrupropen with no apparent relief. I hope she starts feeling better soon or she's off for an MRI.

Jake is applying for a job with the La Conner School District as a first grade teacher. He's really hoping to get the job so we're all excited for him. He and Megan are getting ready to visit their new puppy for the first time in about a week so I'll probably be posting some photos soon.

Angie is looking forward to her summer vacation so she can spend more time with Susie (my grand dog) and attend all the Seattle Storm games. Janeen and I will meet up with her many times this summer and go to the games as well. Now that they live in Edmonds, there are all kinds of fun things to do to keep her busy.

Kelly has left me for the week...she's gone to Mexico with her family for a much needed vacation. :) Hope she's having a great time.

Father's day is just around the corner...Though it's a sad time for us without Rick here, I must say that my DAD is one of a kind. He has been such a help to all of us over the years and never asks for anything in return. If your Dad is still around, please remember to tell him how much he is loved and thank him for the countless ways he has been there for you without even knowing it. I know I'll do my best to give my Dad all my love on Sunday and every other day.

Love you more than all the flowers in bloom,
Dor

Brain Update

2011-06-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

Good news...I have brains. I know we've all been worrying about that for quite some time, but I have a bunch and they all seem to be working (ok, that might have been an overstatement).

Last Thursday, I had the most amazing procedure done on my brain. I know I've told you a little bit about it, but to be a recipient of it was unbelievable. When I arrived at Harborview at 6:30am they explained the procedure, had me sign some paperwork then started the preparation. A neurosurgeon came into my room and injected my scalp and skull with a numbing agent to help with the pain of the screws being inserted into the skull itself. The shots to the skull were equally as painful or close to the pain of the screws that attached a head stabilizer. After the numbness started, he used a screwdriver and attached this apparatus with 4 long screws. After that, I had another brain MRI with this headgear on to help them determine if they had identified all the tumors. In fact, they found 7 tumors all together (4 of them were quite small, but new and growing none the less). After about an hour and a half with the neurologists and neurosurgeons evaluating my pictures, they came up with a game plan and the procedure began. I went into the gamma knife machine for 97.3 minutes and the entire process was done with the use of radiation and a computer. My doctors were in another room while it took place. My family was proud of me for being a trooper that day. No tears, or whining, or screaming. Just peace. Peace that we would find a way to get these buggers before they grew anymore.

I'm one week out and I feel great. Two of my screw sites are still a little tender, one hurts like heck when I cough so I hold my head tight when I feel a cough coming on. Other than that, the wounds look like mosquito bites. I won't really know for a couple of months if the procedure worked, but we'll be checking every month to see how things are progressing.

When I think back 5 years ago having just been diagnosed with lung cancer, I could not have imagined all the amazing works of medical science that would have helped save my life. I am forever grateful for the opportunities I've been given.

Looking forward to attending opening day of WNBA STORM basketball tomorrow. The team will be awarded their championship rings and we all get to be a part of the action. Janeen and I have season tickets (right next to Angie) so we're looking forward to a summer filled with hoops and friendship. GO STORM!

As always, DREAMING BIG ~
Doreen

Time for an update....

2011-05-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

So much has been happening, let me get started.

As most of you know, I've been taking a break from chemo for the last 2 months. I wasn't recuperating as fast as I should have so Dr. Eaton and I agreed that it was time to let my body rest. A couple of weeks ago I had a CT scan of my chest and it showed no new growth in my lungs (even though I haven't been getting any treatment). As you can imagine, I was overjoyed. The only problems I complained about were more frequent headaches and my vision is blurry some of the time. Dr. Eaton ordered a brain MRI to check things out since I hadn't had one in 6 months or so. The MRI came back showing that the tumors in my brain were growing and a new one had reared it's ugly head. It was decided at that time that I would go see a neurosurgeon at the University of Washington. That appointment was today. Here's what I know about my brain. Dr. Rockhill (my brain doc) sees 4 spots in my brain that need to be destroyed. So, next Thursday I'll be going to Harborview for a procedure called Gamma Knife where they will screw 4 bolts into my head with stabilizers to keep my head from moving and shoot 192 beams of radiation at each of the 4 spots. Before I go in for the actual radiation, they will give me another MRI (with really small slices of the brain) to see if they can locate any other unusual areas. If so, they will gamma knife those as well. All 3 of the kids went to the appointment today to listen and ask questions. We all agreed that this is the safest and best solution for me at this time.  (They are going to try really hard not to destroy any of my good brain matter since that doesn't work all the time anyway) OK, enough about cancer.

After the appointment, I took the kids out for lunch and for pedicures. They had all taken the day off to go to the doctor's visit so I thought they could use a little treat. Even Jacob joined in the fun willingly. He wasn't too embarrassed (he was the only guy in the place). More men should get their feet done...

Kelly and I have been working diligently getting ready for Relay for Life. The theme this year is Stampede against cancer so we're working on our cowboy theme. We're looking forward to seeing all our friends, family and fellow survivors.

This past weekend, 8 of us girls who graduated from Stanwood High School got together over at Desert Aire. We had a blast. My dear friend Cindy (who also has a house over there) was the hostess for all of us. The food, fun and friendship was immeasurable. I can't wait to do it again next year..and the year after that...and the year after that (if you get my point :).  My best friend from high school, Kathi, stayed with me at my house and we talked about life all weekend long.  It wasn't a kegger, but that didn't stop the party from being dull.

Amy has moved into the townhouse she bought on Beacon Hill. I got to see it last Monday and it's adorable. She is on the hill right by a park that overlooks Safeco and Quest fields, Elliott Bay and the city of Seattle. She loves the location for both of her jobs. I'm really happy for her. Now if the rest of her furniture would get delivered :)

Jake's knee is healing very well after his accident on the basketball court. He and Megan are getting a new puppy.   The dog is a yellow lab and his name will be Mac. I'll post photos once he's born. I keep telling them I watched Marley and Me...but they tell me not to worry. Their doggy will be in obedience classes as soon as he's old enough. Good luck kids...

Angie was named "Teacher of the Year" at her school. She just attended a dinner put on by the Marysville School District to honor the teachers from each school who won the award. I'm really proud of her. If you had a chance to see her teach, you'd be proud too.

I hope I got you caught up on my "One Life to Live" saga. We're all doing great. According to Dr. Eaton's orders... I only do things that "BRING ME JOY".

Always dreaming BIG,
Dor

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunny sky, the smell of fresh cut grass (thanks to my neighbor boy) and a smile on my face. It doesn't get much better than this.

I had a wonderful week in Spokane (I rode over with Amy who was working there all week) visiting with my friends Bob and Dy and just spending quality time with Amy each evening. We ate at Amy's favorite restaurant, the Elk, twice while we were there. She could have gone there each night but thought that might be overkill. I spent all day Wednesday with Dy and we had a great visit.

Tomorrow I'll get to see all the kids and I'm really looking forward to that. Enjoy your day with your families and I hope you find lots of Easter eggs.

While doing work around the house this morning, I noticed this magnet on my fridge. I hadn't read it in a long time and after I did, I thought...you need to share that with the people you love. So, my advice for the day:

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.

And my contribution....Dream Big.
Love, Dor

Happy Spring?

2011-04-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

I'm optimistic that we'll soon be enjoying sunshine and flowers. I'm a big dreamer so I can wait!

So much has been going on with my family I thought it only appropriate that I give you some updates. Where to begin? I'm taking a "BREAK" from chemo. After a long discussion with my oncologist about chemo sucking the life out of me, he said I could take some time off. Externally, I feel great. Internally, I have no idea what's going on, but we'll continue to do scans to make sure the cancer doesn't go rampant. If so, we'll go back to some kind of treatment plan. We're even talking about possibly trying Tarceva again. My body liked it the first time I tried it...maybe it will be kind to me again? I really do feel better than I have in months. Of course, I still have a cough and a little fatigue but that's to be expected.

Just recently, Jacob was playing basketball at the Davis Carlson memorial "Hoops for Davis" event. He went up to block a shot, came down on his leg wrong and blew out his knee. He had surgery last Monday to replace his ACL and repair both meniscus's. He's in great hands with a wife who's a physical therapist. I went up and "babysat" him a couple of days after surgery when Megan had to go back to work. He's doing so much better already.   He's missed his classes of kids so I know he's getting ready to head back to work on Monday.

Amy was promoted to Major in the Air Force. It was a long time coming (the government has some other things on it's plate right now). I know it was well deserved.. She also purchased an adorable townhouse in Seattle that she gets to move into later this month.   Besides all of this...she is traveling constantly with her job on the Counter Drug Task Force.    During all this hectic time, the American Cancer Society put a contest on to raise the most money in 10 days for Relay for Life. The winner would receive an Ipad. Any of you who know Amy...she took the challenge on like a gang buster and won the Ipad raising over $4,100 in those ten days. Thanks to all of you who contributed to our team.

I feel bad sometimes when I write all these amazing things about my kids but they are "amazing" so I can't help it. Angie was just named Educator of the Year at her school. I know I've mentioned this before, but she is so fun to watch in action...no wonder she was nominated.  Angie just returned from a conference in San Diego and a spring break trip to Vegas. They were both well deserved and much needed breaks for her. Lucky girl. I barely make it out of Stanwood!

The first of April marked the one year anniversary of Rick's death. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I still miss him terribly but I know he's in a better place and out of pain. I've finally gone through his things and donated them to great causes. It wasn't an easy task to do, but with Kelly's help we were able to get it done in a couple of days and it turned out to be pretty painless.

As you can tell, I'm really proud of my children and all that they've accomplished.   I'm so blessed!

Thanks to all of you for your love and support (and especially your patience with my blog writing).

As always...I'm dreaming big,
Dor

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

2011-03-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

Well, you had to know this was coming. Sometimes I feel like writing, most of the time I don't. Tonight it will flow out of me with ease. It's hard to believe that tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary since my dad passed away. Even as I say it, it doesn't sound real. The year has gone by so quickly.

Today, many friends made comments about tomorrow. Although tomorrow marks a milestone, tonight marks a milestone as well. April 1st is the day my dad died, but March 31st is the night I grew up. I always wondered if I was "ready" for the day to come. I wasn't. Nobody is.

After dad's passing we discussed how Angie didn't make it home in time and how sad that was for all of us. What we didn't talk about was what it was like for those of us who were here. It wasn't as though the night of the 31st was horrible. My dad was sleeping. He didn't appear to be in any pain. He seemed fairly peaceful. The hard part was trying to convince everyone to go home for the night, and for those of us left behind to try and get some sleep.

It was late when everyone crawled into bed, attempting to get some rest. None of us knew if my dad was going to make it thru the night. Every bedroom had baby monitor radios in them so we could call for help. It's probably fair to say that not much sleeping took place that night. As mom crawled into bed next to my dad she was sad and started to cry. She told me she hated the idea of waking up and finding that he had passed away. I promised her that no matter what, I would not let that happen. I brought one of the hard wooden chairs from the kitchen table into the bedroom and set next to their bed. I sat in that chair, in the dark, with my laptop to keep me awake, and I watched my dad. I listened for a different breathing pattern. I watched for anything out of the ordinary.

As the sun began to come up, I'm guessing 6:30 the next morning, Melana took over so I could close my eyes for a few minutes before the hospice team arrived. One year ago today, was a night I will never forget.

I miss my dad terribly. I miss his smirks and I miss his smart ass comments. I miss seeing him in his chair. I know without a doubt, he is in a better place than he was toward the end, but being without your dad is tough.

So, on the eve of his one year anniversary, I just want to thank all of our friends and family who have made the past year, a year of remembering and personal growth. And I would like to give a special thank you to Skagit hospice for their care and guidance the past week of my dad's life. We will never be able to thank them enough.

With fond memories,
Amy

Extreme Fatigue

2011-03-09T16:01:00.000-08:00

Wow...With my little infection battle and my last dose of chemo, I'm feeling fatigue like I've never felt it before. If I get settled into a chair, or with my head too close to a pillow, I'm out for the count. No kidding. I'm asleep before I even know it.

It was nice to see the compliments from all my friends concerned about where I've been (since the last blog). I guess I didn't realize how interested you are when we just sort of vanish from the computer. Thank you for your love.

Well, I think I'm going to head back into bed for a while and rest before dinner. My friend Gail is coming over to spend the night and bring dinner. Can you say spoiled?

Love you more,
Dor

Heartfelt Apology for slacking on the blog.

2011-03-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's taken so long to write another blog. I just didn't have much to say, so writing "just for the heck of it" wasn't the reason we set this format up. I wanted to write with news to tell or wisdom to share.

Just wanted to let you know that I had scans last week and I got the results today. This chemo that I've been on is keeping the cancer cells stable. I'm hoping it continues to do it's job for many months/years to come. Who would have known that I would still be here after almost 5 years?

My white count was on the rise today so I went on a new antibiotic to help clear up an upper respiratory infection and a bladder infection. Something new to worry about :)

I'll write again soon ... I promise.

As always, Dreaming Big,
Doreen

STABLE AGAIN...YAHOO!

2011-01-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

The CT test results came back stable again so I'll continue with this chemo routine for at least 2 more months. My side (lower lung) pain is starting to come back so we're adjusting my meds to see if that helps my pain and cough. Last time the new concoction worked miracles so I say "give it a go".

Kelly took me down to Seattle on Monday for tests and Tuesday for chemo. Since we arrived in the big city early we decided to go to Pike Place Market. Neither of us had been there in a while so it was fun looking around and buying fresh foods and trinkets.

My cough woke me up this morning which is why you're getting the blog so early. I think I'll take some meds, get something to drink then head back to bed for a little bit. I'm staying at Angie's for a couple of days while I recuperate ... just realized I forgot my anti-nausea pills. Hopefully, 7-up will calm my tummy.

Love you more,
Dor

January Upate

2011-01-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

The new year has been good to us (minus Angie's root canal and bad knee). Amy has been traveling a lot, Jake is coaching 8th grade varsity boys basketball, chemo has been kind to me so far (the same sore joints and a little fatigue but that's easy enough to work with).

Relay for Life is coming again in May. Watch for times, information and fundraisers. I'll keep you posted.

I'm due for a new scan on Monday the 24th then chemo again on the 25th. I sure wish I had Rick around to go to these tests with me. It always felt better to share it with each other. I know he's with me at my appointments in spirit, but it's just not the same. I'm so thankful I have friends and family who go with me. I really am lucky to have so much love around me when I need it most.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow starts another round of chemo, so I thought I would write you all a note to wish you a wonderful new year (just in case I don't get back to the computer for a few days). I've been feeling good the past couple of weeks so it's been a joyous holiday season.

I've had a few fun days ringing in the new year. On New Year's Eve, I went to Jake and Megan's and we had fondue with her parents and her brother and his girlfriend, then I came home and the girls met me. We played a little Wii then watched the countdown together. New Year's Day was spent with Kelly, her family and mine (minus Jake and Meg) watching the Rose Bowl game and eating lots of good food.

My sister in law, Vickie is taking me to Seattle tomorrow for my treatment. She's always a lot of fun to be around so I'm looking forward to that part of my day. Once I have the chemo, I'm usually just a little nauseous and tired. I can deal with both of those things :)

Have a safe and healthy new year with your loved ones and keep dreaming big,
Doreen

No more tears

2010-12-22T21:49:00.000-08:00

Amy shared my crying secrets with all of you on Monday so, I need to assure you that the crying has stopped. For now :) I never knew my heart could hurt so much after 8 months but I found that love has no time limits. This first holiday season without my "Ricky" is going to be a rough one. Lucky for me, I have amazing kids surrounding me to help ease the pain.
I got great news today from PEBB and it looks like I am going to qualify for retirement medical insurance. I need to see a piece of paper that assures me of my eligibility but everyone I've talked to at the PEBB office has given me the thumbs up. What a relief to know that my insurance will go on without any glitches. A big thanks to all of you who helped make this happen.

Tomorrow night I'm going to the 5th Avenue to see "The Christmas Story" (Ralphie, you can't have a BB gun... you'll shoot your eye out) with Amy and Melana and Melana's Mom. The girls are taking us to dinner before the show at an amazing restaurant called Purple in downtown Seattle. I'm really looking forward to a fun night out on the big town.

It's almost past my bedtime so, nighty night.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Water Works

2010-12-20T19:05:00.000-08:00

Today, mom cried. And then she cried. And then she cried some more. Every time I talked to her on the phone she began to cry, and then she got frustrated with herself. She was overwhelmed and simply couldn't control her tear ducts. If you called mom today, odds are pretty good that you experienced the same thing I did.

I tried to remind her that it is ok to get emotional. I also tried to remind her that she has been really strong for a really long time, and everyone is bound to break sometimes. She told me that she wasn't frustrated with her situation, she is frustrated with herself for being emotional when she knows how blessed she is.

Our long couple of weeks dealing with insurance issues got even worse today when Angie called the PEBB people to check on the status of mom's insurance packet. The lady said she didn't know anything about her packet, which was submitted last week. After an hour on the phone with the lady who had no intention of showing empathy, let alone going out of her way to help, Angie found out that the form we submitted last week wasn't the form they wanted us to submit. When Angie expressed the need to speed up the process, the woman told her to watch for the packet in approximately 7 days. I can only imagine how frustrated Angie must have been. Dor has 11 days to get this insurance problem finalized... but the lady was adamant that the packet needed to be mailed instead of emailed or picked up in person. So, that's where we sit. Another long, frustrating day for the Schmitt family.

With elevated anxiety-
Amy

Here's what's happening...

2010-12-14T22:09:00.000-08:00

Mom spent the night in Seattle last night with her friends Cathy and Kim (after a CT scan and a little Christmas shopping). They got up early today for a doctor's appointment and chemo. Her scan came back stable, so that's good news. She will stay on the same chemo drug for the time being, and continue to focus on the day to day things that bring her happiness.

She came home from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance this afternoon and has been resting ever since. She seems to be more exhausted than normal, but then again, she has a lot on her mind lately. Hopefully she will get some rest and wake up feeling better tomorrow.

Dreaming Big-
Amy

New Concerns

2010-12-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

We have been concerned with "medical" issues the past few years but luckily we haven't had to think about medical insurance... until now. Mom has been on Cobra since dad passed away in April. She can continue to stay on cobra, but there are some other issues that have come up now. To make a long story short... we will have our hands full for the next few weeks to make sure she begins 2011 with adequate medical insurance.

I see stress in our very near future....
Amy

Sharpen your Saw...

2010-12-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write a blog. It's not for lack of participation, I simply don't know what to say. I know that as a family, we have transitioned from the daily blog entries into the occasional quick update... and we get emails about our lack of information being posted all the time. Many of you wish we would write more, and to be honest, it can be a bit therapeutic so I am going to try to do a better job of sharing.

This week, I am in Las Vegas for work. I am here observing an instructor teach the class "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." I flew down here expecting to hear some touchy-feely information about how to live a better life... but I was wrong. This was a fantastic course that made me open my eyes, and my heart. It was a wake up call for me. I wasn't even one of the students in the class but I think I got more out of the class than most people did. I won't get into the details of the course but I want to touch on the 7th habit. After listening to all of the good points throughout the week, he presented the final habit as "sharpening the saw". It is so true. He was speaking to me. He was speaking to my entire family. The message is that sometimes we continue to work so hard at what we are doing and we become too focused on trying harder that we are no longer being efficient or effective. When you do the same repetitive things for 4 years, and you become exhausted physically and mentally, stop and take care of the saw. Take care of yourself. We can't continue at the pace we are moving without expecting something to break.

Not a day goes by when we aren't reminded of how loved we are. And, not a day goes by when we aren't stopped in the grocery store or the bank, to get a hug and words of affirmation. Unfortunately, for those of us who have lost loved ones to this disease, words can't take away the loss of the ones we miss. They also can't slow down the cancer cells that are working hard to take other people that you hold so close to your heart. We continue to experience a genuine sense of helplessness. I would do anything to take the physical pain away from my mom. But just as importantly, I would do anything to take the pain away from my Grandparents eyes. I wish I could provide Angie with the missing pieces that she needs to fully grasp what she missed during the last two days of my father's life. I know that she struggles with not being there for it. I wish I could take some of the expectations off of my brother. There is a fine line between wanting to be like my dad, and feeling as though he needs to replace my dad. I'm not sure where my brother is mentally or emotionally, but I think he carries a bigger load than he has to sometimes and I think it's because he is trying to fill my dad's shoes. All he needs to do is focus on being the healthiest Jake he can be.

As for mom, she hasn't written lately because there isn't much to say. We all learned a long time ago, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". I think that's where she is. She doesn't have anything upbeat or happy to talk about so she focuses on the little things that bring her happiness each day, not the blog. We can't blame her for that. She has been coughing much more lately. She has been in more pain. She gets over-heated quickly, which has caused her bedroom to become her own private snow cave. Her sliding glass door to the deck is open, her windows are open, and her fan is blowing cold air in her face. As much as we try to be upbeat, and optimistic, I've got to tell you.... this is a miserable disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Yesterday was national Pay it Forward day... or so I read on google. With that being said, I think we can all do more to make everyday pay it forward day. We all have so much negativity and get caught up in the small things. If we focus on the things that matter most in this world, and view every situation as a win-win instead of a competition where someone has to win and someone has to lose.... we will all be in a much better place. If we aren't working to make everyone's life a better place, we are missing our calling folks. Rake the leaves of the elderly couple next door. Bring your secretary coffee in the morning, and don't judge other people because you have no idea what their life is like. Always say please and thank you. Smile more often, and always give more than you take.

The Schmitt family is fine. We are going to get back to the basics. We are going to stop and sharpen our saw for a little while so we can take care of the things that matter most in this world. In the mean time, go do something nice and unexpected for someone else. You never know, you might just start a positive ripple effect in the life of many people.

Sending warm holiday wishes from our family to yours-
Amy

Feeling Under the Weather

2010-11-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

This hasn't been one of my finer weeks in the health department. Just getting to chemo this past week was a hazardous chore with the weather (rain, snow, sleet, ice, and more snow) so Mom, Dad and I spent the night at a hotel near Cancer Care for safety's sake. Since my chemo on Tuesday, I've been feeling awful with a horrible cough, troubles breathing and fatigue. I've had someone spend the night with me nearly every night this week to help out with the anxiety of not getting adequate air. It's very scary to struggle for your breath. Eventually, I know it will come back, but it's nice to have someone by my side patting my back assuring me that everything will be ok. I still have a terrible cough but it finally feels like it might be breaking up. Perhaps I'm on the mend just in time to start all over again :)

Mom and Dad took me for a ride today (just to get out of the house). After days of being stuck inside from the weather, then the chemo I was ready to see a little blue sky and enjoy what sunshine came peeking through the clouds.

Amy is off for another week in Vegas with her military job. I think she's been gone more than she's been home since this job started. Have a safe journey Amy and I'll see you in a week.

I'm going to be needing your help one of these days because we're nominating Angie as P.E. teacher of the year. The award is nationwide and she will win 10,000 dollars for her school and some other neat prizes. I'll tell you all the details later. I know with your help we'll get the word out about how deserving she is.

It's time for me to head off to bed. I haven't been sleeping well lately, so when I get the urge to close my eyes...I need to go for it.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

A few more photos from a fabulous weekend....

2010-11-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

Kelly and I on the big screen as she receives her award.

Lisa Molina, Me and Bonnie at breakfast on Friday morning. Amazing ladies who've changed my life.

San Francisco Memories

2010-11-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

We returned this afternoon from a wonderful trip to San Francisco where we participated in a weekend full of adventures, laughs and making memories. The girls, Scott and Kelly spent Friday shopping and exploring the Fisherman's Wharf while I had the opportunity to visit with Bonnie and our other friend Lisa. We had lunch, shopped and laughed...a lot! If not for the wheelchair and the oxygen tank I would have forgotten all about Lung Cancer for that hour or two. I love those ladies and am thankful that I had the chance to spend quality time with them.

Saturday night was the Lung Cancer Gala. We spent some time during the day helping decorate for the event and then spent a little more time getting ourselves ready to go. It seems like simple tasks such as getting dressed and doing my hair and make-up now wear me out. I was ready for a nap before we left my hotel room. I was so proud to have been able to introduce Kelly as the "Caregiver of the Year" at the event. She received a large ovation and she deserved every bit of it. The evening was a huge success, with an enormous about of money having been raised for Bonnie's foundation.

After the Gala on Saturday night, Kathryn Joosten from Desperate Housewives came up to my hotel room to hang out with me and the girls. She is hilarious and had us laughing the entire time. She is a two time Lung Cancer survivor and a supporter of Bonnie's foundation.

As much as I loved our trip, I am happy to be home and plan to rest up over the next few days. I have attached a few photos from our weekend. Enjoy!

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Change of Plans (again)

2010-11-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

My chemo plans have changed again. I've gone back on the Alimta plan which is a plan I was on for 28 weeks earlier this year. I began having severe pain during the time I was on it so we had to make some different arrangements, ie. take me off it and put me on some new pain meds and a new kind of chemo. But for now, we are sticking with the Alimta and a new kind of pain medicine. The only problems I've come across are a bad case of feeling overwhelmed from the steroids and needing tums every couple of hours. I can deal with both of those set backs.

I'm getting excited about next weeks plans in San Francisco. The only kids not going on the trip this year are Jake and Megan but I understand Megan has her new job and Jake just started up coaching basketball again on Monday. Busy lives for busy bodies, maybe they can can make it again next year.

I've been using a wheel chair to get around lately (it really helps keep my breathing under control), I also find that sitting with a fan directly in my face seems to give me a greater sense of air flow. I don't like any of these devices, but if they work, I need to face reality and just do what works best for me.

It's time for me to get off the computer and think about something for dinner. Yogurt and cereal? Maybe...

Sending lots of love to all my friends.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Wine Tasting for a Cure

2010-10-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

What a night! Roughly 80 friends and family members gathered at Wine Styles in Marysville tonight to taste wine for a lung cancer fundraiser. The Schmitt family would like to thank everyone who participated in the event, donated to our fundraising efforts or sent well wishes. Our event was a huge success having raised $2,230 for the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation.

In addition to raising money, we also celebrated something else tonight. Kelly Lloyd, Mom's amazing caregiver was informed that she has been selected as the first annual "Caregiver Award" through Bonnie's foundation. Our family nominated her by writing a letter and sending it off to a committee for review. Not only did she beat out the other 38 nominated caregivers, she won the award unanimously! We are so lucky to have you in our lives Kelly! She will receive her award at the gala in San Francisco next month. Congrats!

Dreaming of brighter tomorrows!

Angie

Adventures from the Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Mom's least favorite holiday, Halloween, we went on a family field trip to the Stocker Farms Pumpkin Patch in Snohomish today. After much anticipated corn dogs at the concession stand we entered the gates to pumpkin heaven! We laughed a lot, took tons of pictures, found the "perfect" pumpkins to take home and left just as the rain began to fall.

We stopped by the cemetery on the way back to Stanwood and left a little pumpkin there for Dad. Mom began to feel under the weather so we took her home and got her into her pajamas. After another hour of laughing on her bed and eating Halloween candy we called it a day and headed home.

Amy and Mel are carving pumpkins at our house tonight while drinking wine, baking pumpkins seeds and working on a jigsaw puzzle. Of course we have the UW football game on in the background. With Dad's love for his children, football and jigsaw puzzles, he would have loved it here tonight...

We hope you enjoy the photos from our adventures at the Pumpkin Patch. We sure had a great time!

Dreaming Big-

Angie & Amy

Treatment Delayed

2010-10-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Mom and Aunt Vickie stayed at our house in Edmonds last night in order to shorten their trip to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance this morning. I noticed that mom looked very tired when they arrived at the house and she just didn't have much energy. After blood work results today we know why... her counts are low and she is anemic. They said she was close to needing a blood transfusion. As of now they sent her home, without having her scheduled chemo treatment, and rescheduled her chemo for next Tuesday. As expected, the doctor is very serious about us limiting mom's number of guests for the next few days. With her counts being as low as they are she could pick up an illness that her body simply can't fight off. Dr. Eaton also required all of her caregivers to get a flu shot and asked us to stay out of mom's house until we do so. As of right now we have face masks, hand sanitizers and other precautionary items at the front door of the house for visitors. If you find it important to stop by and visit mom this week please help us keep her home free of germs.

Thanks again for your continued support, love and understanding.

Dreaming Big,
Angie

New Game Plan

2010-10-02T02:43:00.000-07:00

All 3 of the kids joined me at my doctor's visit today to hear about my choices as we enter the next phase of this journey. I can always go back to 2 of the chemos I've been on before (they didn't do a lot...but they slowed the growth down a little) or I can try a new new drug called Navelbine that may or may not do the trick, but we'll never know if we never try. I'll go to the clinic once a week for blood work, doctor's appointment then an infusion. I'll do this for 3 weeks in a row then have a week off. I won't get scanned again for 2 months. After that, we'll check it out to see if the progression has stopped or at least slowed down. I'm running out of options at this point, so let's just keep thinking positive thoughts about Navelbine...you never know....it could be my new TARCEVA :)

While waiting for the doc this morning, we had the nurse take a new family photo. Not bad for 4 worried faces?

Dreaming Big,

Dor

Great Weekend then Disappointment

2010-09-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

I just spent a great weekend at Desert Aire with my sister in law, Vickie. We laughed and slept, then laughed and ate, then laughed some more. It was just what I needed before I start the clinical trial.

At my doctor's visit I learned that I will begin the trial this Friday (at which time I will also learn which trial I will actually be on...with or without Tarceva) The first day is a long process. Blood work, appointment, take pills, play around for 3 or 4 hours, come back and do more blood work and EKG...then go home. That process is only once a month. Otherwise, it's pills only at home. I'm looking forward to getting something started. Although there was little growth in the tumors in my lymph nodes, there was lung capacity loss in both lungs and more signs of cancer in the middle right lobe, and bottom lobes of both lungs. I'm ready for that kind of growth to stop.

Today I'm babysitting my grand dog at Angie's. Susie (the cutest granddog around) has an ear infection and she needed some extra lovin', so who better than me? Actually, they've moved into a new neighborhood and when she doesn't feel good or gets anxious she tends to bark more. The new neighbors don't like that so I told the girls I would stay at their house and keep her inside with me.

As I was writing this blog, I just got a call from Dr. Eaton in Seattle. He informed me that they discovered during one of my trials (at another hospital), I took a drug that disqualifies me from this study. I'm sitting here in shock. I had it all figured out. This was the trial that was going to do the trick. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it. He was disappointed too when he called. Thursday is his day off from patients, so he is going to study my case all day with some of his colleagues and try to find a new game plan. Sometimes we just don't get what we wish for.

I'll continue to DREAM BIG...
Love, Doreen

Good News

2010-09-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

They were able to take the tissue from my last biopsy to use for this case study so I get to skip that portion of the trial. On Friday, I have a full body CT, bloodwork and an EKG. After the study group looks at all my information, I will begin the trial the first week of October. I won't know until then which "arm" of the trial I will be on....with or without Tarceva.

The house at Desert Aire is officially sold. I'm so happy to have that responsibility off my back. I'm looking forward to heading over to the Desert just to enjoy house number 2. Yahoo!

Keep Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Tumor Growth :) :(

2010-09-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry I didn't let you know the outcome sooner...but here is what I know. There is tumor growth in my lungs which qualifies me for the trial. The next step is a new lung biopsy (they are deciding which kind to perform), then a few more tests just to make sure I'm still a good patient. I'll keep you posted on what the next step is after that, so for now...let's just think positive thoughts and BELIEVE. My emotions are still mixed but I'm happy to know I'm moving in some direction and they have a plan.

Getting ready to watch the Storm game again tonight. Let's hope they win tonight and sweep Atlanta in the finals. :) Go Storm!

Dreaming Gigantic,
Dor

Mixed emotions

2010-09-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

My doctors visit started out fairly routine. "Blood pressure, fine, temp fine, by the way the clinical trial you've been waiting for finally opened up yesterday....." I was so excited to hear the great news. This is the trial that is suppose to work well on people who had success with Tarceva, and we all know that Tarceva was my middle name for 2 and a half years. All of this sounds so promising, so you ask "what's the problem?" Although I've signed all the paperwork for the trial and everything looks good, if my cancer has not grown at all in the past couple of months, I can't be a candidate. Only people with cancer growth can join the trial. I know it will be awesome if the cancer has not grown at all (that's what we're always wishing for) but if I miss out on this trial now and the cancer starts growing in 2 months...the trial could be closed to new participants by then. I now that sounded like a bunch of jibberish so in a few words it means....I need the cancer to have grown (JUST A LITTLE) so I don't miss this opportunity. I can't believe I've even said those words but in the cancer world, timing is everything. I'm scheduled for a new CT scan next Tuesday so they can make their decision about me.

I learned yesterday that Jordan Nursery (a local plant farm in my town) is naming one of their new varieties of fuchsias after me. So, next year you can buy a "Doreen" and hang me on your porch if you'd like. It is light pink with a white middle and magenta pokie things in the center. On the 25th and 26th of September they are having "Bloomfest" (or something like that) so people can see all their varieties of fuchsias and Martha Washington geraniums for next year. Mine will be on display that day too :)

I'm fighting a headache right now so I think I'll go put my jammies on and call it a night. Thank you for all your love and prayers.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Dr. Visit

2010-09-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

I'm up earlier than usual today....couldn't sleep....I have a doctor's visit in Seattle this morning. I'm not having any scans or tests so I won't learn anything new about what's going on inside my lungs, but I might find out a little more about the clinical trial that's coming up. I have mixed emotions about it. I know I need to get in on it when it becomes available, but after a summer of feeling so well, I hate to think about new side effects and not feeling like myself again.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed that I'm getting winded much easier. It could be, because I'm going a mile a minute and I need to slow down. The past week a new cough has joined the band wagon as well. Perhaps I'm just getting my pre-winter cold?

Last night Angie came by for a visit after school and we had a nice snuggle...until I had a meltdown. I hadn't had a good cry in a long time so it was nice to have her around while I did it. I'm sure I was just a little worried about today, I was missing my Ricky, and just doubting myself and decisions I've had to make by myself. All normal kinds of grief I'm just glad Angie was here to walk me through it.

I'll keep you posted on today's doctor's visit. I'm sure everything will go well.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Just another BUSY day

2010-09-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Today I'm getting my new propane gas stove for the living room. I'm looking forward to the cleanliness of the propane vs. the wood we're always carrying through the house. I think it will be better for me to just hit my remote control button and turn my heat on now that I'm wearing oxygen all the time. I haven't been through a whole winter trying to build a fire with oxygen on my face. I don't think that's a very good combination.

I'm so excited to go to the Storm game again. Tonight they've got giveaways but I'm not sure we'll make it there in time to stand in line for a freebie. Janeen will pick me up after school today and we'll be on our way. The exciting part about tonight (besides the game) is that Lauren Jackson is the MVP of the WNBA and they are going to announce it tonight at the game. Don't tell anyone you heard it hear first.... just kidding, it was on the news this morning.

I've been really winded lately even with my oxygen. I've analyzed it and I think it's because I just rush too much when I'm feeling good. I think it's time I slow things down a little bit.

My mom broke her foot and is going to see a specialist today. She has a hard enough time walking with 2 healthy feet, I can't imagine how terrible it will be for her in a cast or whatever they have planned for her. I think she may be stuck at home for a while in a wheelchair. Sorry Mom, but that's what happens when you kick my Dad (just kidding...that's how he told me it happened).

I'd better go get dressed before my stove crew gets here. This green bathrobe is pretty but let's face it, it's not THAT PRETTY.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

It's become "chronic"

2010-09-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

The readers of this blog have been spoiled over the years with Mom writing messages on a regular basis and keeping us on the edge of our seats while on this roller coaster ride of a life she is living. We've had times when "the blog" was the first thing we read in the mornings or the last thing we checked before going to bed. Often times I learned about what was happening with my parents from a person who had just read the blog and then ran into me at the grocery store or at a sporting event. I always laughed when someone would give me a thumbs up and say, "Great news today!" I would return their thumbs up and then call Mom to see what she wrote. The blog was a huge part of our everyday life.

As of late, the blog entries are showing up less frequently and seem to have less depth. They have become more of a chore than a desire to write. Mom may not say that but we know it is true. I am writing this entry to remind our loyal readers that cancer has not gone away. Cancer has not stopped interfering with our daily lives. It continues to make its presence known when we see Mom dragging her oxygen tubing around the house or when she has a coughing spell that last only a minute but wipes her out for an hour. Cancer exists but we are becoming experts at ignoring it and living through it.

Mom will be joining me, along with her friend Janeen, at the Seattle Storm playoff game tomorrow night against Phoenix. She has been to quite a few games with me now and we have established a pretty good routine. We take breaks when we need them. We slow our pace to a point where we are not busy hurrying from place to place or thing to thing. Instead, we tell stories. We laugh. We get excited to show our team spirit. We have learned to live with cancer as a chronic illness, rather than a death sentence. That is a line that my Mom wrote in a speech that she gave for the American Cancer Society several years ago. She said, "I look forward to the day when we can treat cancer like a chronic illness rather than a death sentence." I think we are there...

I want to remind our family supporters that life after Dad's death has taken it's toll on our family. Not only on an emotional level but also on a physical level. We had been racing around, going from treatment option to treatment option, never stopping long enough to really deal with the severity of the disease. Now that the storm has passed, we are sitting in a quiet world wondering how it all happened so fast. I know that is true of my Mom as well as us kids. We miss my Dad. We miss his laugh. We miss him giving us a hard time. But I know that doesn't begin to touch on the "miss" that my mom is experiencing.

Thank you friends for your patience while the blog produces entries that are few and far between. Just know that the Schmitt family is still here, still fighting this battle and making memories along the way.

With much love,
Angie

Fantastic Weekend

2010-08-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Vickie and I laughed a ton this weekend about everything and nothing.. I'm so glad to be able to spend quality time with her. We always have fun.

Rick's headstone arrived this weekend while I was gone. What a surprise to see it standing yesterday when we arrived home. I have attached two photos.

It still looks like everything is going well for the sale of Desert Aire house #1. The few little items that needed to be fixed were completed by our cousin (and contractor) Kelly. He had been working on Angie's house remodel, but she let me steal him away for a couple of days so I could stay on top of the sale. The new owners-to-be would like ownership on or before the19th of September. I would love for them to have it earlier....September is one of my favorite times over there. I'm sure they will love it too!

I'm going to the Seattle Storm game tomorrow night....first playoff game for the undefeated (at home) Storm Women. Janeen and I are going along with Angie. Shannon is doing a great job working for the Seattle Storm as yesterday she was promoted to Vice President of Marketing...Her marketing strategies are amazing. I am so proud of her!

Look for us on TV....

Keep Dreaming Big,

Dor

Lovin' Life

2010-08-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Desert Aire!

I am spending a nice weekend with my sister-in-law Vickie, over here at the Desert Aire house. I need to get over here more often. It really does bring a smile to my face when I'm here.

I plan to enjoy the warm weather and visit with the neighbors for the next few days. I won't be on the computer so please know that all is well in our world and I will check in with everyone when I get home.

Enjoy your weekend-
Dor

No Excuses

2010-08-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was going to tell you it's too hot to write a blog (but that would be a lie...my computer room is one of the coolest rooms in the house), I was going to tell you I haven't been feeling well (and that would have worried all of you...and it too would have been a lie). TRUTH if you want to hear it, I've been having fun. Maybe a little too much. Dave and Val were here all last week so we were on the go nearly every day. I spent the night at Angie and Shannon's house (it's looking really cute) on Friday night, then Amy and Melana spent the night with me on Saturday. I went to breakfast with the girls on Sunday morning, then to my great uncles 95th birthday party yesterday afternoon. My Mom, Dad and Aunt drug Val, Dave and I to the casino one day last week. Thank goodness it wasn't very smokey and I didn't lose a lot of money. It was kind of fun, but I'll bet it's a lot more fun when you win something. :)

I really have been feeling physically great lately. My heart still hurts when I have Ricky on my mind, only now I allow myself to laugh at some of the fun memories we shared.

I'm hoping and praying that the Desert Aire house sells. We have new buyers and I would love to have them be our neighbors. They are relatives of some friends of ours. Could be just what we needed.

I'm starting to have a hot flash or heat wave so I'd better call it a day. Sorry to disappoint you when I don't write, but please know that it's probably because I'm out having fun. :)

Love you more than all the little blue plastic pools I saw in people's yard this afternoon....maybe I should invest in one of those?

Dream Big,
Doreen

GREAT NEWS....

2010-08-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

The results of my scans came back (I'm almost perfect...ok, not really but...) the cancer in my lungs is stable and the tumors in my brain have continued to shrink or stay the same. With this news comes another break from chemo and I am pleased. I'm feeling so good right now....if I was any better there would be 2 of me :)

The only bad news I heard today was, the buyers of Desert Aire pulled out of the sale...I have a back up plan however so maybe it won't be as bad as I thought. If you read this Len, give me a call :)

Dream Big,
Doreen

Happy Sunday

2010-08-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping well lately (night time is the worst for me...too much time to think about missing Rick) but last night I slept like a baby. I feel rested and ready for a relaxed, healthy, happy day.

This entire week I've been on the go. This is the life I was intended to live. Not the one where I lay in bed all day feeling goofy or in pain. Thanks to all of you who are helping me start to feel normal again. I had a fabulous time on the boat celebrating Rick's birthday, a great evening at Shelley's house on Friday night celebrating her birthday, and a fun day yesterday with my parents and my Aunt Carol grocery shopping and out for lunch.

Tomorrow is a big day at SCCA. A brain MRI and a CT scan of my chest and abdomen. If everything stays stable, I'm hoping for another month of "no chemotherapy". It's amazing how good your body feels when you aren't being fed poison and the pain medication you are taking actually does the job.

I've got a handful of books that I've been reading lately on how to handle grief. It's all great advice, I just wish I could follow it. I find myself picking up the phone to call Rick to share something with him, or roll over in bed looking for him only to find an empty spot. This morning, I woke up and it felt like someone had been sleeping on my arm all night. I'd like to believe it was Rick stopping by to let me know everything will be okay.

We're hoping to close the Desert Aire house sale by the 18th of August. I'll be elated if it all goes as planned. I need all your good wishes to make this deal happen so please keep thinking good thoughts.

I guess it's time to do a little laundry, tidy up the living room and make my bed. That sounds like enough work for one day.... :)

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Happy Birthday Dad!

2010-07-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday would have been my dad's 54th birthday. To celebrate his memories we spent the afternoon on our friend Shelley's boat. Pam Erickson also joined the Schmitt family for this birthday celebration at sea. It is so comforting to have friends who want to see smiles on our faces again. They cooked us a great dinner, played music and topped the night off with a fabulous berry pie! Thank you. We also want to thank Shannon for delivering the birthday balloons to the boat...good thinking. The weather was beautiful, the fishing was terrible and the stories about dad were ... PRICELESS!

Remembering him with a smile,

Angie

2010-07-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Now that chemo has been removed from my daily diet, I really do feel better. Since I woke up this morning, I've been fighting a headache. I would like that to go away because I've got other things to do. :)

Good news....I have a potential buyer for the Desert Aire house (I say potential because I don't want to jinx it) We're just waiting for the inspection. The people want it ASAP and I couldn't be happier to hand it over.

I'm going to go take some tylenol to see if I can get rid of this headache. I'll try to write more later.

Dream Big,
Dor

Life really is GOOD

2010-07-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since you've heard from me, but now that I'm feeling so good I can't wait to share my life again.

I've decided that "pain" is not my friend. Now that it's under control, I realized just how terrible I was feeling. I told Dr. Eaton on Monday that I was feeling better that I have in a year so can I stop taking the pain medicine? He reminded me that I was feeling so good because I was taking a combination of pain medicine that was finally working. Oh, I get it. Don't change anything if what you're doing is working.

Since I've been feeling so good, I've been doing my best to get out of the house and do fun things. Tomorrow I'm going to spend the day with my neighbor Lynell then tomorrow night I'll get to see Amy (she's in Iowa with the Air Force). Yesterday I went to Angie and Shannon's house in Edmonds. It has so much potential and a back yard that looks like a park. It's going to be beautiful. Jake and Megan are all moved into their house and it's darling. Every time I've stopped by, it gets cuter and cuter.

I can hardly believe that it's been 2 1/2 months since Rick died. Just when I think I'm doing better another "first" happens. His birthday is coming up the end of July and it makes me sad just thinking about him. I miss him and his witty attitude, but I feel his presence all the time.

I'd better go now and start thinking about dinner. A friend dropped fresh salmon off so that's on tonight's menu along with green beans. Yum.....

I'll continue to DREAM BIG,
Doreen

Time for a Break...

2010-07-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

I know that many people have been waiting to hear the results of Mom's appointment with Dr. Eaton today. According to Jake, they said, "You haven't looked this good in a long time!" They agreed that her quality of life is good right now and that she should "take a break" from chemotherapy and enjoy every minute of July. The plan is to go back for a Brain MRI and CT Scan in early August and re-assess at that time. If the symptoms change or her pain increases then she is supposed to contact their office. Those are the facts. Check the blog later for Mom's vision of where she will go from here.....

Dreaming...
Angie

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

I am so glad to be home from the hospital, and I'm ready to see everything I've been missing out on. My new pain medicine still makes me tired and gives me the feeling of being "drunk" for a few hours after taking it... but overall I feel much better. It seems to be working for the most part but I know that I'm not always patient with this whole process because I want things to be back to the way it was a few weeks ago. I think I am heading in that direction though, so that is promising.

After my 2pm nap on Sunday, Amy and Melana took me out for a coffee and some fresh air. I requested a quick detour to my favorite little store on Camano Island called "The Spare Room". Although we had no intention of driving around we decided to keep driving around the island because it's always nice to see the view.

We stopped at Tom & Jana Shaughnessy's house because we knew they were having a little 4th of July party. I was feeling pretty good so we stayed for a while. I always have such a nice time with all of those guys. It's easy to forget that you're sick when they keep you laughing. I've added a photo of Jana and I just after a plate of fresh cooked crab. Yummy :)

Hope you had a safe and happy 4th. I'm glad to be back home in the swing of things.

Dreaming Big,

Doreen

Oh, Dor... not the Benadryl...

2010-07-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Mom's status has continued to improve while remaining at the University of Washington Medical Center. Her pain has decreased from a "9 out of 10" to a "3 out of 10". That is a pretty big change from the Dor who checked into the hospital on Wednesday.

Mom stopped taking pain meds via her port this evening, which meant she was able to get the bandage removed from her chest. The only thing she has consistently complained about has been the bandage and how itchy it is. The bandage has to remain 100% sterile so the same bandage has been on her chest since she checked into SCCA on Tuesday. She is allergic to a few things... one of which is the cleaning solution they use on her chest prior to accessing the port. She learned that a while back when she broke out in hives, and had a red, irritated chest. She is wearing a wristband that lists her allergies.

Tonight, after they removed the bandage mom took a shower. When she came back into her hospital room her chest was red, inflamed, and clearly irritated. A nurse asked mom what she had come into contact with. They had talked about using hydrocortizone on her chest but there were mixed messages in her records about whether she was allergic to it. When the nurse asked if she was allergic to it she said, "No, they tested me for it last year. It came back that I wasn't allergic to hydrocortizone, just Benadryl". HELLO... she has been complaining for three days about an itchy chest bandage and they have been giving her BENADRYL to relieve it. None of us knew about the benadryl, and clearly she had forgotten about it until tonight. SCCA was called and her records have been updated to reflect the allergy. Between the heavy dosage of pain meds this week... and the multiple shots of Benadryl... she has been a little "coo-coo for coco puffs" (if you know what I mean).

It was nice to see the old Dor back today. She was still tired but much more alert, feeding herself, and going for walks. As of now, the plan is to take her home on Saturday if all goes well. I think she is looking forward to sleeping in her own bed. There really is, No Place Like Home...

Thanks again for all of your well wishes.

Amy

Newest Plan of Action

2010-07-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

We have now been visited by multiple doctors and the plan has been established for the next 36 hours or so. The doctors are happy with her pain management so far. Mom's pain is significantly better than it was on the pain patch last week so we all agree that we are on to something good here. This early evening they are going to discontinue the IV medication that she is currently on and switch her over to a similar acting pain cocktail that comes in liquid form. If she can tolerate the medication and her pain is managed then that will be the medication that she continues at home. If not, they will be sending her home with the IV medication that she is currently on (since they know it works) and it will come in a fanny pack. Although it works well right now, mom wants to avoid that option because she said, "Nothing says 'Check Me Out' like an oxygen tank and a fanny pack."

The idea of doing the rib pain block has been put on hold for now because the doctor does not think that the risk (minor as it is) would be worth it right now if the new pain medications are significantly helping. He has gone ahead and reserved a spot for the procedure tomorrow at 3:00 PM just in case the plan changes. He explained that the pain block procedure is something that can be done as out patient surgery so it could be planned in the future if the pain is hard to manage again.

One thing that we failed to talk about in the blog yesterday is that Dr. Eaton , mom's Oncologist, has halted chemotherapy treatments at this time. Although her scan results came back "stable" with very minimal change, if any, he is concerned that she is too sick to undergo any other treatments at this time. His one and only goal at this time is to manage the pain. If things begin to improve and her strength and energy increase then we may discuss the idea of returning to chemotherapy in the future.

Thanks again for your care and concern for mom. I will continue to post updates to the blog as things change.

Angie

Changing of the Guards

2010-07-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the hospital at 8:00 AM this morning to relieve Amy of her over-night stay with mom. When Shannon and I left the hospital last night mom was sleepy and sort of goofy from the Benadryl that they gave her to control her itchy skin (caused by her new pain medication.) It was nice to see her doing better this morning. She was sitting up and more coherent. Apparently, mom slept all night except for when the nurses woke her to receive pills or to nebulize with an inhaler. The new pain control plan seems to be more tolerable than the previous pain patch that they tried. She controls her pain by pushing a button and the pain specialists track her needed dosage. This should better help them establish a plan once she returns home.

Yesterday we were informed of a pain block procedure that is a possibility for her. The doctors all believe that this pain is caused from the pleura of her lungs being inflamed and irritated but they also realize that her pain feels fairly isolated to a spot near her ribs on the left side of her body. This proposed procedure would consist of basically numbing that rib and the rib above and below it. There is no guarantee that this will decrease the pain at all but it is the only option other than controlling the pain strictly by medication. We had no choice but to think of this in basketball terms... if this is an option and we chose not to do it because it might not work, it is like losing a close game with an un-used timeout. We just can't wrap our heads around it. So, we will take them up on this procedure if it is still a possibility when they return today.

At this time mom has finished breakfast and is sleeping soundly in bed. I am waiting patiently for the doctors to make their rounds and will be asking many questions when they come in. I plan to get mom up and out of bed as soon as I am given the green light to do so. I will update the blog later today when I know more.

Thanks for loving us from afar....

Angie

Quiet Time...

2010-06-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal.... Dor is in lockdown, of sorts.

She came to Seattle today to get her CT scan results and she ended up being admitted to UW Medical Center to get her pain under control. She has been assigned a "pain specialist" who will monitor her, and adjust her meds as needed.

Before you grab the phone or your car keys, please know that she is not allowed any visitors or phone calls at this time. Amy & I will be updating the blog and checking her email account on a regular basis to keep everyone in the loop. When she is awake we promise to share your well wishes with her. If you need to contact our family please call one of our cell phones. We have helpers staying at the house, running errands, and keeping up with the daily chores... but be assured that we will contact people if we need help.

She may be here for a number of days in order to establish a plan but we are fine with that. We want to ensure that her quality of life increases when she gets home.

Please continue to send happy thoughts our way.

Dream Big-
Angie

Things are looking up...

2010-06-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today was a better day for mom. For the most part, she was awake. She had some visitors and took some naps but overall she was alert and interacting with people. When I arrived around 5:00pm she asked for Mac-N-Cheese and Diet 7-Up. She ate all of her food and rarely asked for her lolipop of meds. She no longer looked over-medicated. Now she just looks comfortable, and that has been the goal all along.

Hopefully her body is getting used to the new pain patch. I am taking the night shift tonight so hopefully it goes a little better than the shift Angie had last night.

Hoping for peaceful rest and happy dreams-

Amy

P.S. We would like to send our thoughts to the family of Jill Costello... the 22 year old college student in California who passed away from LUNG CANCER yesterday. I had the opportunity to meet Jill at Bonnie's event in San Francisco last November. She was an inspirational young woman with a bright future. Rest in peace as we continue to fight your fight.

Guessing Game

2010-06-24T23:58:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning hearing mom in pain trying to roll over in bed. I was worried because the pain patch was supposed to be in full effect by 8:00 am and it was around 8:20 by that point. After a little problem-solving we figured out that the patch had been knocked loose in the middle of the night when her arm was romping around. No pain patch = No pain relief. After a bath and a new patch being applied (this time on her chest with tape around it to assure it would stay on firmly) we waited the 12 hours for the meds to kick in. I know that the doctors are participating in a "guessing game" to figure out exactly how strong her pain patch should be, so for the first few days we are keeping a close eye on her every move. I am a little bit worried because she seems really medicated but still complains of pain. She spent nearly every moment of the day in bed and that is the opposite of what we are hoping this new pain plan will do for her. We want her out in the world making memories, going to Taco Tuesdays, shopping at her favorite stores and going for beautiful drives. If tomorrow brings another day of laying in bed all drugged up on these new meds then I will be having a talk with her Oncologist about making a change. I had to call the Cancer Care Alliance just before midnight tonight because mom was showing multiple signs of the side effects that were labled "potentially fatal" and I was not going to take any chances with her shallowed breathing during the night. Here it is nearly 1:00 AM and I feel like I just want to sit here by her and "stand guard." I know that the beast I am prepared to fight is cancer but I will be damned if I am going to go down without a fight!

Sweet Dreams Friends...

Angie

Pain, Pain... Go AWAY!

2010-06-23T22:27:00.000-07:00

I got a call from Mom this morning telling me that the pain in her side was, "The worst pain I have ever had!" By the time she called me she had already contacted her Oncologist in Seattle by email and was waiting for a response about whether or not to come down for a visit. I called the Cancer Care Alliance too and they told me to pack Mom an over-night bag and get her to Seattle. Our favorite caregiver (Kelly) got to Mom's house and had her bags packed and ready to go in minutes. The entire trip to Seattle Mom was a "10 out of 10" on the pain scale. I felt like I couldn't drive fast enough. After a wheelchair ride and a few doctors trying to get to the bottom of why her pain was so extreme Mom was introduced to her new friend the "pain killing lollipop". Within minutes she told us she was a "6 out of 10" and showed us how she could do side-bends without pain. It was crazy how fast her pain was eased. The final conclusion for the day was that she has not taken enough pain meds on a regular basis to stay on top of her pain. Therefore, she has had a poor quality of life lately and has gradually felt her pain increase. Her new treatment plan for pain is a pain patch that distributes the medication for three straight days. This, along with her lollipop pain killers are supposed to keep her more comfortable. She will be having bloodwork and a CT scan next Tuesday afternoon (with results coming on Wednesday morning) to check on the cancer progression or lack there of. Unfortunatly we were reminded of the news that we are "At the bottom of the barrel for treatment options" so if the scan shows cancer progression then we will be talking about the possibility of starting with Hospice. As much as we loved and appreciated Dad's Hospice caregivers we don't eagerly await their return. As of now, let's pray that these new pain meds will do their job and get Mom's quality of life back. Then we can start the prayers for good scan results next week! Thank you for the numerous phone calls, cards and emails from friends and family. We greatly appreciate your support, even if we don't get back to you right away.

Dreaming of Painless nights (and days for that matter)-
Angie

Nancy's Birthday Wish

2010-06-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

Our buddy Nancy had the opportunity to do a public service announcement for the American Cancer Society and she jumped on the opportunity (along with a few friends from her show). She sent us a nice message telling us to watch for it because she did it in honor of Rick and Dor. I googled the PSA and attached it above.

Thanks Nancy... we love you.

XO-
Amy

Good Morning... or is it night time?

2010-06-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

On Monday my mom had chemo in Seattle. Vickie took her to the visit and returned her home to get some rest about 3:00 pm or so. After I got out of school I went up to the house to check on her. She was sound asleep on the couch. I woke her and made her get into bed so she would be more comfortable. I stayed with her for a while, answered phone calls and eventually headed home. She was so exhausted that I was not sure that she would have remembered my visit so I left her a message telling her to call me later is she wanted. Later that evening around 8:30 pm she called. She started our conversation by saying, "I am such a dork." Apparently she was sleeping so peacefully that when she woke up she thought that she had slept all through the night and it was 8:30 AM on Tuesday. Because of that, she called my office at work and left her daily message saying, "Good morning Honey, I hope you have a good day at work. Call me at lunch time or whenever you get a break." She figured that her day-time caregiver would be arriving soon and that it was time to think about getting herself some breakfast. Then she realized that it was 8:30, but not in the morning. It was still Monday night and she was calling to tell me good morning. She had no way to erase the message so she called and warned me that it would be there when I got to school the next day. She apparently called Amy and did the same thing. She actually spoke to her on the phone and began their conversation by saying , "Good Morning Sweetie." The entire thing was really, really funny. The sweetest part of the entire thing is that even in times of extreme exhaustion or fatigue she still remembers to call and tell her children to have a good day or to let them know that she is thinking about them. That is love...real, unconditional LOVE.

The last two days she has been feeling a bit tired but is doing ok. My grandparents continue to stock the 'fridge with her favorite cherry yogurts because that is all that she ever craves to eat these days. They are great parents for her and I know she appreciates them so much. In case we don't tell you enough, thanks Grandpa Bob and Grandma Myrna for your support and errand running.

Living Strong-
Angie

Graduation Day

2010-06-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

We've had a busy couple of weeks around the Schmitt household. Jake and Megan, Angie and Shannon all bought houses. Amy started her new full time job with the Air Force Counter Drug task force. ( She'll keep her job with the gambling commission...it's a great opportunity).

This week I taste tested cupcakes for Morgan's wedding, attended Megan's final symposium for her doctorate (wow...she's smart), went to a retirement party (until I ran out of oxygen...I need to pay closer attention to details), then it's UW graduation today to watch Megan become a Dr. of Physical Therapy. This afternoon and tomorrow I have 3 graduation parties to attend. Monday is chemo. Sounds odd that I need to have chemo just to slow down :)

I'd better get in the shower and start working on my beauty before we leave for Meg's graduation.

I've been feeling pretty good lately. A little more coughing than usual but I'm blaming that on all the action I've had lately.

Keep dreaming big,
Doreen

Doreen? Doreen Who?

2010-06-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life, there are just no excuses. Like now, for instance. I have no legitimate reason for not writing a blog in the past 10 days....but I am sorry if I made any of you worry.

We spent memorial day (and the days around it) at Desert Aire. Visited with friends and family. I gave away a scholarship in Rick's name on Tuesday to a deserving young man who lives in our community (Joe Eidsness) We've been friends with his family for many years, Rick went to school with his dad you could tell it was an honor for their son to receive it.

I celebrated my 52nd birthday on Sunday. Who would have know the importance of having a birthday every year? I sure love them. When I got home on Sunday, Megan took me to a movie then out for lunch. We had a very nice time.

Jake and Megan have been house hunting lately...along with Angie and Shannon. They're both looking in different directions, but it's always exciting to put your feelers out for that dream home you've been waiting for.

Amy started her new job with the Air Force on Tuesday. She has has a lot of responsibility with this new endeavor, but she's very excited to get started on it.

I'm not sure what's been going on with me the this last round of chemo, but I've never been so fatigued in my life. I could sleep all the time (and it seems that I do). I've have a low grade fever for the past 5 days and I'm just sick of feeling cruddy all the time. I'm not sure what's going on with me, but I'm sure in the next couple of weeks I'll feel like my old self again.

The next couple of weeks are busy ones for our family. We have 5 graduation parties to attend, Megan gets her doctorate, she has to give a symposium in front of a big crowd at the UW on Thursday, Jake gets his Master's degree (he says it's not nearly important as Megan's...but I still think it took hard work and dedication and should mean something). After graduation, Meg, Jake and her family are all taking a trip to Maui for 11 days...REALLY....I'M NOT JEALOUS. Envious maybe :)

Summer is just around the corner. Enjoy every minute of it.

Dream Big,
Doreen

Stable is the word of the day

2010-05-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

Just as I had planned, my CT scan showed that my lung cancer has remained stable. I never doubted it. I've been having a lot of pain on my left side so I asked them to look closely for a broken rib or something that could be causing this pain. It appears that the lining to my lung (the pleura) is being irritated by my lung cancer and there isn't much we can do about it. I'm ok with that. It's always the unknown that I don't like.

Chemo went well, I got a vitamin B-12 shot for more energy (I get one every 9 weeks with this type of chemo) and I'm just a little extra tired tonight but that's nothing unusual.

3 more weeks until I need to go back to the doctor's office (unless the fever comes back). I'm feeling positive about this kind of chemo. Very few side effects and it's keeping everything stable, and making my brain tumors better. Sounds like a winning combination to me.

Love you more,
Big Dreamer Dor

I'm Back

2010-05-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

I know many of you liked the fact that I was on vacation because you saw a blog nearly every night. Now that I'm back home, I'm trying to face reality head on. We returned home on Thursday night around 11:00pm (just in time to get enough sleep for Relay for Life the next day). Amy dropped me off at the house on Friday morning and I was wiped out. Luckily, I regained my energy and was ready to participate in Relay once again.

I walked a few laps then settled under our canopy and visited with friends and family the rest of the night. I had a hard time being at the event without Rick. We've been a team for so many years (not just at relay, but in life). Although he wasn't there in person, we all felt his presence. It was another successful Relay and we were all glad to be a part of it. Thanks again to all my teammates who raised money and awareness to this horrible disease.

Let me tell you about the rest of our trip. On Wednesday, we toured the city again with Amy' friend Jessi (they played college soccer together), shopped at Quincy Market and Fanuiel Hall, then met up with Lauren Amundson for a wonderful lobster dinner at the oldest restaurant in America. We had a blast.

Our flights were smooth, we met up with old friends and laughed a lot. I'm so happy that Amy asked me to go along on this journey with her. It's a trip we'll never forget.

Tomorrow I start back on my daily grind. I have a CT scan of my lungs (and hopefully we'll find out what is hurting on my left side in my rib area). Then on Tuesday, it's chemo again. I look forward to feeling good this week so we can enjoy Memorial Weekend.

After my appointment on Tuesday, I'll let you all know how my appointment went. I believe that the cancer in my lungs is "stable" and you know how much I like that word :).

Stay healthy & happy and don't forget to DREAM BIG,
Dor

A Couple of Busy Days....

2010-05-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning started out early. We rented a car and began our three and a half hour drive into New York City. We enjoyed the scenery throughout Connecticut. What a beautiful state. When we arrived in New York we drove all over the place. We knew that we would never find a place to park... and even if we did, I wouldn't be able to walk around very long with my limited lung capacity. Amy drove like a New York taxi driver. I was shocked to see her holding her own on the streets. If you don't drive like a crazy person in New York City you will never make it anywhere. She took us to Times Square, Ground Zero, Central Park,and many other fascinating places. We made it to Yankee Stadium early and watched a great game.

After a long day in New York yesterday, with my daughter Amy "the taxi driver", we didn't return to the hotel in Boston until 2:00 this morning. For all of the fun we had yesterday, we sure have paid for it today.  We slept in and then got on the Beantown trolley this afternoon for a two hour tour of the city. It is a two day pass so we are looking forward to actually getting off of the trolley tomorrow now that we know all about the city. Amy's good friend Jessi flies into town from Virginia tomorrow morning. She will spend the day with us and then fly out on Thursday morning. We are both excited to see her.

We decided to call it an early night and lounge around the room to root for the Celtics. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow.  Goodnight...

P.S. I am getting a lot of questions from friends and family about my lack of oxygen in most of the pictures. I promise that I am wearing my oxygen all of the time... except for the few photos I am in. Please don't worry about me. I am being good.   :)
Dream Big-
Dor

Crazy 8's...

2010-05-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today was a blast. After sleeping a lot yesterday I woke up early and was showered and dressed before the alarm went off at 7:45. I think Amy was shocked when she sat up and saw me fully dressed (shoes and all) and ready to start our day.

Lauren picked us up around 9:30 outside of the hotel. After a quick stop at Starbucks we were on our way north for the day. We took the scenic route thru New Hampshire and then up into Maine. Our first stop was a little beach town we stumbled upon called Old Orchard Beach. The little boardwalk looked cute so we stopped to shop and walk on the beach. While walking around we found an arcade. The girls looked at me funny when I said we needed to go inside and play, but they followed me in anyway.

We played a few games but on our way out we saw the "Deal or No Deal" game. I wanted us to play together. The game showed all of the numbers on the screen and then it flipped them around and started to scramble them all over the screen at an uncontrollable pace. The goal was to follow the number that said "1000 tickets" on it. When the scrambling stopped Amy said "It's #8". Lauren and I both laughed because it seemed impossible to follow but we figured what the heck. We picked suitcase number 8 and then started to play. We were doing pretty well and it got down to 2 suitcases. We turned down the 510 arcade tickets that the banker was offering and took our chances with #8. We won. 1000 tickets started shooting out of the machine. We were high-fiving and laughing. It was so much fun.

We took our 1044 tickets over to the prize station and bought a whole baggy of "amusement quality" toys and games. We left with 9 rubber (livestrong like) bands that said DREAM on them (go figure)... a whoopee cushion.... some twizzlers... and three lollipops. We were like little kids. Our final stop on the way out of the arcade was the photo booth. We crammed into the booth, suckers in mouth and laughter on our faces.

When we left Old Orchard Beach we headed further north to Portland Maine. I wasn't that hungry but we stopped for lunch on a restaurant boat. It was the best clam chowder I have ever had. We decided to save the lobster for dinner some night when we were hungrier.

We headed back to Boston, taking a detour through the Cambridge area. After a few hour nap (and rooting for the Celtics on TV) we headed out for dinner at a great place called Finale. It was wonderful and we are already talking about going back again.

It's time to crawl in bed and get some rest. We have a big day in New York tomorrow rooting for the Red Sox... at Yankee Stadium. Wish us luck. :)

Sleep tight,

Dor

Cheers for Boston

2010-05-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Boston. After a few minor delays on our trip here, we finally arrived at our hotel around 1:00pm today. Amy encouraged (required) me to take a nap since we didn't get much sleep on the flight here. I slept for a few hours and then we went for a walk around the downtown area. We didn't want to over-do it so we just walked thru Boston Common, which is beautiful, and then had an early dinner at the original "Cheers". Although it wipes me out to walk around alot, we are taking things slow and pacing oursleves. I must say, I'm not concerned about walking too much, but I AM worried that Amy won't want to get on the plane to go home. I think she has officially fallen in love with Boston.

We called it a night by 7pm. We are back in the room and I'm stuggling to stay awake. We probably slept 5 hours last night (off and on) so I need to get some rest before a big day of traveling again tomorrow. The plan is to head north along the coast, into Maine for a day of sight-seeing and lots of seafood. I hear the lobster calling my name. Our friend (Lauren Amundson) lives here in Boston and she has re-arranged her work schedule so that she can be our driver tomorrow. We are both really excited to see her.

Well, it's time for me to wrap this up so I can get some rest.

Goodnight my friends-

Dor & Amy

Off we go...

2010-05-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

We are at the airport waiting for our flight. We got here way earlier than we needed to.... just in case. We didn't know how the oxygen issue would play out. So far, so good. It was pretty funny when we began to check in though because the lady said "I see here in the system that you have oxygen and a service animal". She caught us both off guard. We both chuckled until we realized that the computer really said that. We didn't want to end up in the strip search line so we politely corrected the lady and tried to bring as little attention to us as possible. Maybe I am considered mom's service animal.... hmm?

After we finally made it thru the gate, we had a nice dinner at Anthony's and then did a little shopping at the "Life is Good" store. I will attach a few photos soon.

Hopefully we sleep well on the flight and arrive in Boston refreshed and ready to go.

Enjoy your weekend and stay tuned for a daily blog update.

-Amy-

2010-05-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

Lots of stuff happening around my house these days. On Tuesday, I finally called the doctor about the pain in my side and the extreme coughing and he said..."get down here. I need to see you" After a chest x-ray and blood work, it was confirmed that I have pneumonia (again) and the probability of a few cracked ribs. Whoop dee doo! Just how I wanted to start my vacation with Amy. But, after a few days of antibiotics I'm feeling much better. I've been resting (doctor's orders) and packing (Amy's orders) to get ready for our amazing trip to Boston.

We are so excited to see some friends while back there. After the plans were made, people starting writing to us to say they were living there now, or they would be there for work....It looks like we picked a great time to go.

Colonel Kelly has been keeping me in line to make sure I'm following doctor's orders. I do everything she tells me to or else I get into trouble. She had a field trip to go on with her son today, so Mom and Dad filled in for her. Mom is helping me get ready for my journey.

I haven't been sleeping well lately....lots of dreams or nightmares about Rick. Once I wake up, it's hard to get back to sleep. I know this is a phase I need to go through to heal, but I'm just so lonely without him. The kids do their best to keep my spirits up. Mom always tells me to call her when I'm having a bad night but why wake her and have two crybabies up all night?

I'd better get going. I have a nap to take and bags to pack. Thank goodness Jake and Megan will be here to hold down the fort while I'm gone.

We promise to take lots of photos and tell you all about the adventures we went on.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

2010-05-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

What a nice mother's day I had. The kids and my parents came by around 2:00 and we had a yummy brunch. My body didn't feel very well though so they all left fairly early so I could get some sleep. I'm feeling much better today.

Yesterday, Morgan (my "other" daughter) got engaged. Her ring is beautiful. Congratulations Morgan and Corey.

I'm really getting excited for our journey to Boston. We don't have very many things etched in stone but we are for sure going to a Yankee/Red Sox game as well as a Lobster meal in Maine. There are so many sights to see back east that I'm sure we won't run out of things to do.

Amy promises we'll take the computer with us so we can keep up on blogging. We'll try and send some photos too~

I'd better get going. I need my beauty sleep as well so I might as well get started on that too!

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Post Chemo Day

2010-05-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an uneventful chemo day, however today I'm a little more nauseous than usual. I'm going to really lay low the next couple of weeks so I'm feeling well for my Boston getaway.

Happy Anniversary today to my brother in law and sister in law, Jeff and Dawn....

I also want to wish you all a happy Cinco De Mayo. Have an enchilada and margarita for me. I don't think it would agree with me today so I'll take your word for it.

Mother's day is coming on Sunday so if you're lucky enough to still have your momma, don't forget to give her all the love you can muster up. My mom is going to be covered with hugs and kisses.

Time to take a little nap and get rid of my nauseous stomach. I just took another dose of anti nausea meds so hopefully they'll kick in soon.

Keep Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Time flies by....

2010-05-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe that it's been a month since Rick has been gone. I swear it was just a day or 2 ago that we were in shock making arrangements wondering how we would be able to handle life without him. We're still working on that, but we have each other and great friends and family surrounding us so we're managing as best we know how.

I've been extra emotional this week. No particular reason, just a lot more tears have fallen down my cheeks than I'd like to admit.

This weekend is going to be laid back since I've been doing lots of running around lately. Next week is chemo so I want to be well rested for this round. I've got an exciting trip coming up soon and I want to be feeling at the top of my game.

Don't forget...the Seattle Storm Women's Basketball team is getting ready for it's opening season. Our little Shannon has been working hard to make this their most successful year yet. Shannon's job is in marketing and game management. It's going to be a fun year for us watching her in action.

I think I'm about ready for a little afternoon nap.

Keep dreaming big,
Doreen

Better Late than NEVER

2010-04-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

First, let me apologize for being a slacker in the blog department. I know you all understand that I've had other things on my mind, but I still should have written a few lines to let you know we're all doing ok.

Last Wednesday I packed up my belongings and a bunch of chubbies (full of oxygen) and rode with Dave and Val to their new home in Plain, WA (right near the Wenatchee River and Leavenworth - beautiful country). Val and I had a wonderful couple of days exploring the area and shopping. I came home on Sunday with the Schemenauer's who were at their cabin on the same river. I'm already looking forward to my next visit with them. I sure wish Rick was here to see their finished product...he would have loved it.

Out of the blue yesterday, Amy told me that going to Boston was on her bucket list and wondered if I'd like to join her on a quick little trip before she starts a new job with the Air Force. Much to her surprise, I said "sure, why not"? So, we've already booked our flight, hotel, found the closest place to get oxygen for me while I'm there, and bought tickets for the Yankees vs. Red Sox game at the new Yankee stadium. I'm sure between now and the 15th of May (I know it's very soon) she'll plan many more outings for us. Don't worry, we'll be back just in time for Relay for Life. Don't tell her, but I'm tired already just thinking about it.

During my time off from writing a blog, I had a little visit at the emergency room with a fever. It appeared I had a sinus infection. Once I started the antibiotic and kept taking tylenol, I felt new again. I've been feeling much better from the chemo this week just in time to get it again on Tuesday. It's sad for me to go to Seattle Cancer Care anymore because Rick and I usually went together. It's another new normal I'm going to have to adjust to but for now...I don't like it.

Part of my reason for not writing lately is I had to "get real" about some of facts of losing my spouse..This week I picked out a headstone for Rick (and I). It's beautiful and he would have liked it too. I had to notify social security, insurance companies, and banks about his death. It could have been a lot worse for me, but Rick did a good job of having all the important stuff filed in their appropriate spots. I think I've got most of it covered except for some additional thank you's that have come in from Hospice. Thanks to all of you who have made donations to your favorite charity in his name.

I promise to write soon.

XOXO,
Dor

4 beautiful years....

2010-04-19T23:57:00.000-07:00

Today was my 4th year cancerversary. I can not believe that 4 years ago today I was diagnosed with this dreaded disease and I'm still here to complain about it. I want to be Dr. Eaton's longest living survivor so expect to hear about this again next year.

The past few days I've been fighting a fever. Last night, Angie and Shannon took me to the emergency (doctor's orders) to have my blood checked for signs of infection or if my temperature was only on the rise because of the chemo on Tuesday. It seems that I have some kind of infection (maybe sinus) so I was put on an antiobiotic for the next 5 days. I'm hoping they will do the trick and I can try to get back to normal.

Actually, I'm not sure what my new normal is these days. I miss Rick more than I can explain, nighttime is always the worst part of my day. We always used to crawl into bed and touch our feet together as a sign of endearment. Now, I get into bed alone (except when one of the kids comes over) and I have no feet to touch. Sounds like a silly thing, but it happened every night. It was as natural as brushing your teeth.

Today was also my dear friend Cathy's birthday. Happy Birthday my older but loveable friend :)

If I'm feeling good when Dave and Val leave this week, I'm going to ride over to their cabin in Plain, WA and stay for a couple of days. I have other friends (the Schemenauer's who will be over there this weekend and agreed to take me back to Stanwood). It will be nice for Jake and Megan to have some alone time in the house without me.

On Wednesday, my baby boy will be 25 years old. I know he's not a baby anymore and these past 2 weeks he'd really proven what an amazing young man his is. He has been a rock for our family. His dad would have been so proud of his work around the property this past weekend. He mowed, weed whacked, sprayed all the weeds with round-up and planted some trees we received from friends in honor of Rick. It was beautiful weather and he worked from dawn to dusk. The yard looks great! I think I'll keep him.

Today when some friends were over we talked about how much Amy looks like her dad. From her hands, to the way she crosses her legs. Apparently, we don't always notice things like that until we lose someone. I think the kids all love it when people notice things they do or say that remind them of their dad. Forever I didn't get credit for being their mom because they all looked just like their dad. Over the past few years however, I'm starting to get a little credit (I think people say that just out of pity:)

I've been wearing Rick's wedding ring on my thumb and it's amazing how much peace I get out of feeling it on my hand. He just feels nearer and dearer to my heart.

I'd better get to bed now. It's one o'clock and I need my rest so I can take a little trip across the pass with my friends later this week.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Great Scan News.

2010-04-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

On Monday I was scheduled to have a new brain MRI and a new Chest CT scan. My sister in law, Vickie and Kelly took me to Seattle for the appointments. On Tuesday, I learned that the chest tumors are stable but the tumors in my brain have shrunk 30 to 40 percent. It was the best news I've heard in a long time. After my doctors appointment, I went in for chemo. I've got achy joints this morning and a little nausea, but other that I'm not feeling too bad.

My heart is a little extra heavy today because today would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. I know Rick is celebrating with me from Heaven (he spoiled me every year). If I'm feeling better this evening, the kids want to take me out to dinner (they say dad would have wanted that). These children of ours are the most amazing people I know. Angie spent the night with me last night just in case the chemo kicked my behind.

It's time for me to head back to the sofa and get a little rest. The more I rest the first few days after chemo, the better I seem to feel.

Thank you all again for all the love, cards, caring words and wisdom you've given me over the past couple of weeks. I can't help but heal faster from my loss with all of your support.

Dream Big,
Doreen

My thoughts

2010-04-10T00:39:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to write a blog for the past couple of days but my emotions were a little too raw to share how life was going at the Schmitt house.

What no one tells you, is that planning a memorial (celebration of life) service is a lot like planning a wedding... only you get about 2 days to do all the work. In the end, I could not have asked for anything more beautiful or respectful for my one true love. The church was set up for just under 500 people and the pastor told us they did a head count and the number was more like 740 people. The church was filled with family, friends, co-workers, business acquaintances, friends and loved ones of both mine and the kids. Rick would have been honored to see so many people pay tribute to what a great guy he was.

Most of the time I'm doing just fine (when you have a lot of work to do it takes your mind off the sadness). What I've found recently is my tears are tears from happy memories, or a smell, or just remembering how much love we shared and I feel a huge hole in my heart. I know it will get easier as time goes on, but for now I need to enjoy the memories as they come (even if they're followed by tears).

After the celebration of life ceremony on Wednesday, we went to the cemetery for the burial. My dear friend Nancy had 100 red and black balloons delivered for us to release when the service was over. The wind was blowing just right, so when Pastor Mich was finished we let off 100 balloons and we watched them sail over the town, his work, the high school where he watched hundreds of high school ball games. It was another beautiful tribute. Thank you Nancy for thinking of us.

As a family, we want to thank all of you who attended the service, sent flowers, made donations, sent cards, gave hugs, kept us in your prayers, worked behind the scene to make the reception run well, and the video turn out fabulous and all the other pieces I'm forgetting. I have never felt so blessed to live in a community filled with kindness, generosity and more love than I thought possible..

You have all made this journey as bearable as possible and that was no easy task.

Love you MOST,
Doreen

Closure

2010-04-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

The past week has been a whirlwind. We knew that dad was getting worse but as strange as it may sound, I don't think anyone really believed that he was going to die. Both of our parents had been defying the odds of survival for so long it just seemed as though some type of clinical trial would come along that would buy him some time. It just went so fast.

Some of the things that people might not know are that my dad officially retired from Wolfkill on Friday March 26. When he walked in the door that afternoon and sat in his chair, he never left the house again. He had a few good moments the following few days but then began to slip away on Monday.

Another thing you might not know is that Angie had left for Tahiti and Bora Bora on Saturday March 27th. She had the trip planned for a long time and she was looking forward to spending spring break relaxing and re-charging her batteries, like everyone kept telling her to do. When she left, my dad was fine. We were giving Angie updates each day and then finally called and encouraged her to come home on Wednesday when things began to look a lot worse. Angie traveled nearly 22 hours straight to say goodbye to my dad, but after all of the traveling, she arrived 30 minutes after his passing.

The day after dad passed away my immediate family was at the funeral home making arrangements for the funeral when Angie got a text message that her next door neighbor and good friend was one of the people killed in the oil refinery explosion in Anacortes, WA. She had lost her father and friend within 10 hours. We all knew Matt as well so it was another blow to our family that was already struggling with the normal emotions of losing a loved one.

Mom has had numerous visitors the past few days and we are grateful for the time you have spent with her. She is doing pretty well for the most part but we all have our moments when we forget he is gone and we break down. I know that I have been so busy with funeral preparations the past few days that I haven't left my parents house since last Wednesday. Last night, I packed my bag and decided to go home. As I kissed my mom goodbye I turned toward my dad's chair to kiss him. Everyone saw me do it and it was difficult for everyone else as well as they saw that I had forgotten. I had a bit of a breakdown. I have seen 1000 pictures of him the past few days so it is as if he is still here. Last night... I remembered.

If you are in the Stanwood area and would like to attend the viewing it is from 9am-5pm today at Gilbertson's funeral home. We saw him last night and he looks absolutely fabulous. He is more at peace today than I have seen him in months. We hope this week brings all of us closure on the loss of a quiet hero.

Missing my dad-
Amy

Let Easter fill your heart with joy :)

2010-04-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

As you can all imagine, in the past few days many tears have been shed, stories told, plans made, and love shared. In my wildest dreams I couldn't imagine doing any or all of this on my own. Lucky for me, I had a wonderful husband who taught his children to work hard and love and respect their mother. He would not be disappointed in the wonders of his work. The kids have been Angels and I am blessed.

Rick would be so thankful too, to our friends Bob and Dy and Dave and Val. They have helped the house run like a well oiled machine. He would have done the same if the circumstances were any other way. How fortunate we are to have such wonderful friends.

This morning, we are going to Church then spending the afternoon together with friends and family for Easter. I wish you all a joyful day with your families as well.

I already miss my Ricky but I know he is in a better place and free of pain. Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers,

Dreaming Big with a heavy heart,
Dor

Rick Schmitt: July 28, 1956 - April 1, 2010

2010-04-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

Today, April 1st, my dad passed away peacefully in his bed surrounded by people who love him. Everything happened so fast the past few days. We are still processing everything so we will write more at a later time. For the time being we want to thank everyone for the kind words and happy thoughts that have been sent our way over the past three or four years. We couldn't have made it this far without the support that we've received.

There will be a funeral service and celebration of his life on Wednesday April 7th beginning at 11:00 AM at the Camano Chapel. Please continue to keep my family in your thoughts as we transition into this stage of our processing. We simply ask for strength for my mom as she continues to fight her own battle with this disease while mourning the loss of her best friend.

With a heavy heart-
Amy

A Little Help?

2010-03-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

My dad is still experiencing some side effects from his new drugs. One of the biggest problems we are having is that he gets up and walks away sometimes and he is not stable enough to do that on his own. He will be sleeping for hours in a chair and the moment someone leaves the room, he gets up and wanders into another room without his walker and without a helper. Last night/ Early morning dad got up and walked into the kitchen. Megan found him and called for Jake. My dad had no idea what he was doing yet he told Jake he was making toast. The water was running, he had spilled milk on the floor and he had turned all of the lights on. He is having a difficult time adjusting to the heavy doses of medicine, but at this point, our biggest concern is his safety.

Tonight, he was asleep in the living room so mom got up to do something in the kitchen. She heard a loud noise and thought it was Jake. By the time she left the kitchen Jake & Megan were already on their way to see what had happened. Dad had wandered into the bedroom and fell into the nightstand. Megan helped him stand up and they all checked his body to see if he was injured. It appears that he had hit his back but he told them nothing hurt. They called hospice and reported the incident. It is difficult to keep an eye on him every second so the hospice nurse has recommended we get a few baby monitors so we can hear when he is up and walking around. We are going to leave one in Jake & Megan's room downstairs and possibly a few additional ones in the spare bedrooms in case someone else is sleeping over. If you have any baby monitors that you aren't using anymore, please let us know because we might want to borrow them for a while.

This transition has been extremely difficult for everyone. Visitors have continued to stop by each day and that is great, please just make sure you call ahead of time to make sure the timing is ok for everyone. Thank you for all of your well wishes.

Thanks-

Amy

Not Quite Ready for This

2010-03-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

It is fair to say that my dad has struggled the past few days. He has started taking new medication and it has caused him to sleep a lot. He is confused at times and doesn't participate in most conversations. It is difficult for all of us to see him this way.

His best buddies came into town to see him this weekend. Bob and Dy flew in from Spokane and Dave and Val drove into town as well. Having his friends around seemed to be good for him. Throughout the past few days he has had other visitors as well. Although he probably won't remember most of the visitors because of his medication, my mom is very much appreciative of your kind words and warm wishes.

Each day has been something different with my dad so it's hard to tell what to expect from day to day. If you would like to stop by for a quick visit please call ahead and let us know you are coming. If the timing is bad we will be sure to tell you.

Thank you for sending good thoughts our way during this difficult time.

Goodnight-
Amy

Changes Can Be Difficult

2010-03-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, mom had chemo. Also, while at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, my dad saw his oncologist for a quick visit. His oncologist didn't like the way he looked or the things he said. They did a scan to see if there was a blockage in his liver. If so, that would mean a surgery to create an opening for the fluid to drain out. Unfortunately, there wasn't a blockage. Dad's discomfort and poor liver function test were due to his cancer progressing. So, no surgery. Instead, dad will begin to manage his pain better with more medicine and lots of hugs. In addition, SCCA has set my dad up with a hospice nurse.

Hopefully a nurse will be able to track his symptoms and determine when he needs more medical attention. Overall, people who utilize a hospice nurse tend to have a better quality of life so that is what we are hoping for as well. Today, dad didn't get out of bed. He was tired and was experiencing some discomfort in his stomach. Mom was wiped out because it was the day after chemo so she spent the majority of the day resting as well. She did have a few visitors though, and they seemed to cheer her up. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Each new day will bring us new obstacles, but we are up for the challenge.

Tired but hopeful-

Amy

Wonderful Weekend

2010-03-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a little poker tournament at our house with some of Rick's old friends and he had a great time. Mom, Megan and I made some snacks for the gamblers so they wouldn't go hungry. Jake and Shannon made it to the final table but didn't win anything, Rick took third place, Tinker took 2nd, and Zip took 1st. Congratulations guys...now what about a cut for the hostess?

Rick and I are both exhausted today so we're just laying low watching college basketball. Oh wait, we've been watching college basketball non stop for about a week :) Congrats to all you Husky Fans and anyone who's ever heard of N. Iowa.

Amy and Mel spent the weekend at Desert Aire having a great time with family and neighbors. Angie and Shannon are getting ready for their trip to Bora Bora (oh, I'm so jealous). Yesterday they went house shopping...Shannon needs to live closer to her new job in Seattle. Jake and Megan are in Seattle today visiting Ken and Debbie (Meg's parents), Dave and Val moved back to their real house yesterday, so it's just Rick and I hanging out by ourselves. It's so quiet :)

I guess I'd better go make some lunch. Rick just keeps losing weight so I need to feed him as often as he'll eat something.

Dream Big,
Dor

Great News!

2010-03-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

Angie's test results came back. Everything was benign. Cancer Free at 33!

All is fine in Schmittville

2010-03-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

I know many of you worry when you don't hear from me in a while. I'm sorry about that. Sometimes I just don't have much to say or it feels like a repeat.

Rick is working on his retirement plans and is looking forward to some quality time off. I'm right there with him looking forward to some time at Desert Aire and having a little fun.

Tuesday is chemo day for me and a doctor's appointment for Rick. He still hasn't been feeling well (we were hoping that he would get back to feeling "normal" once he was chemo free for a while) so we're hoping the doctor has some plans to get him back on his feet. He's extremely fatigued and doesn't have much of an appetite. I know those are normal habits for cancer patients, but being chemo free we thought those symptoms might go away.

I've been feeling really good. I wake up each morning coughing terribly, but after I use my nebulizer...I'm back to breathing as good as I get. Each afternoon I take a nap then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the night. I've been trying to get out a couple of times a week and have a little fun, grocery shopping, or just taking care of business that needs my attention.

The weather has been awesome so I'm going to venture out again today. Please remember, if you don't see anything on the blog...call me. The phone line is always open and if I'm sleeping, someone else will answer and have you call back later. Thank you all for being such great supporters we are lucky to have you ;)

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Being Proactive will Save your Life

2010-03-13T11:36:00.000-08:00

It has been a well known fact that my siblings and I have bad genes. Our Grandma had Lymphoma in her early 50's, followed by our Grandpa with colorectal cancer in his late 70's- early 80's. Grandpa was followed two months later by mom's lung cancer in her 40's and then 8 months later by our dad's colon cancer at the age of 50. It goes without saying that we need to be proactive with our body. We need to find a balance between being a hypocondriac and being naive.

In November of 2008, 4 months before her 32nd birthday, Angie had her first colonoscopy. She said some of the doctors were asking her why she got checked so young. She referred them to her family history on the piece of paper in front of them. Angie had no polyps and nothing that concerned the doctors. She encouraged me to get checked as well. It took me a while, but this past September I made my appointment after I kept experiencing digestive issues. My results were fine, showing only three little ulcer-like spots caused most likely by stress. I passed my test.

Last week Angie called me out of the blue and asked if I could be her driver for her colonoscopy on March 12th. I said yes, of course, but I wondered why she was going back in for a scan when she had just completed one 15 months before and there were no signs of problems. She told me that she listens. Not only to her own body, but also to the doctors when she takes my dad in for his check-ups. They ask if he has experienced a change in bowel movements, change in frequency, or blood in his stool. They ask the same three questions every time. Angie informed me that she had asked herself the same three questions the past few weeks and contines to answer yes to two of the three.

So, yesterday, I took Angie to the hospital assuming they would check her out and tell her that she is all clear and just experiencing a large amount of stress. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. After she came into the recovery room they came and got me. She was clearly experiencing discomfort and she was very comical in her medicated state. They had to give her more narcotics than normal because they were having a hard time getting around parts of her colon. They found a polyp that they kept discribing as "alarmingly large" considering she had just been checked 15 months before. They removed it and sent it to the lab. He said it looked normal as far as he could tell, but lab results will come back next week.

He continued to express concern about how quickly it grew. Most people start their colonoscopies at the age of 50 and come back every 10 years, but Angie began them at 31 and will now get them every 24 months or so. He told us there was no doubt this would have been cancer had she waited to get checked. Those are difficult words to hear. As if this news wasn't discouraging enough, I took her home and then she started to bleed when she went to the bathroom. I had to take her back to the hospital so the surgeon could decide if they needed to go back in and look at the spot they had biopsied. After a few hour at the hospital the second time, Angie was released and told to rest and watch for anything unusual.

Needless to say, Yesterday was a long day. I spent the night at Angie's house and she looked fine the rest of the evening. She wasn't in any pain and she hasn't experienced any more bleeding. Physically, everyone is back to normal, but mentally, knowing how things could have been is a tough pill to swallow. I'm really proud of Angie for being so proactive with her health and it is a reminder to me that I need to be just as proactive. I know that I probably would have just assumed it was stress and blown it off since I had just been checked. If you're one of those people with a less than favorable genetic makeup, you need to make sure you are getting your annual physical and bloodwork. Don't assume you are invincible, regardless of your age or how recently you were checked.

Hoping for good results-
-Amy-

Lots of changes

2010-03-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple of weeks we've have lots to think about. Rick is no longer receiving chemo because it's not working, my chemo is finally working (which hits me with survivors guilt) and now Rick is going to be retiring after 30 years at Wolfkill. It's time for us to start enjoying what life we have left. Hopefully, it will be another 20 years, but if not....we will have had a great time along the way.

It's odd how I thought he would put up a fight leaving the job that he felt so safe at. But, instead, I think he's looking forward to some special time together, maybe spending a little more time at Desert Aire, visiting Dave and Val at their new home in Leavenworth. Whatever makes him happy, I want to be right there as an active participant.

Shannon got an amazing job with Seattle Storm (the WNBA professional women's basketball team) so I'm sure we'll have to support her endeavors too. Rick has never been to Angie's school and watched her teach (it's one of my favorite things to do) so I'm going to bring him to Marysville to witness what a fabulous teacher his daughter is...then I might take him to lunch. :) We've been able to watch Jake coach his boys and girls basketball teams and that's been fun too. I'm not sure we can follow Amy to her undercover jobs as a special agent for the gambling commission so we might have to limit our time with her at home or out for dinner. We've got great kids. They'll make sure we're not bored. Hopefully we'll be busy a lot of the time. It will keep our minds from wandering to places it shouldn't go.

I knew I would have a sad little moment today when I got up because our house guests are gone. Dave and Val have moved into their beautiful home (but they'll be back in 9 days...Dave's got so other job to do...yahoo for me) It surprised all of us how well we got along these past 6 months sharing the TV, bathrooms, kitchen, and just general space. I think we could have lived in a commune :) Think of the money we would have saved. Our remodeled bathroom is complete and absolutely gorgeous. It was a gift from Dave and Val for the time they spent with us. I'll never be able to thank them enough for this beautiful gesture.

This past round of chemo has given me a stomach ache that I can't seem to shake. Just about the time I think it's gone, it hits me again. I am feeling a little better about it today so perhaps I'm on the mend. I've had a low grade fever the whole week too. Nothing that tylenol won't cut, but I've got to stay on the safe side and keep checking it.

Ok, I think I've rambled enough. Keep us in your thought and prayers as we go through all these new changes. We'll be just fine, but it's always nice to know you've got someone at your side during the journey.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Great news...Shrinkage :)

2010-03-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

In almost 4 years ( April 19th) I learned to accept the word stable as a great report. Today however, for the first time I heard the word "shrinkage"! Val and Kelly came to my appointment and we were all thrilled. Dr. Eaton took us to the computer and showed us pictures of my scans and how much change this poison does for me.

I also have to contribute "shrinkage" to the alkaline water Shelly makes me and personally delivers weekly. You know me, I'll try anything once! The plus side to the good news was a burger and a shake at Dicks!

Now that we know this toxic cocktail is working, I'll continue Chemo every three weeks. It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood and I'm so glad to be home...... :)

Now that I've had good news, I'm going to wake up everyday hoping Rick will say he feels great. I know he wishes he could wake up and say those words too. Patients Doreen patients.

Dreaming BIGGER than ever -
Dor

Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughters

2010-03-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

33 years ago on February 28, Rick and I were blessed with 2 beautiful (inside and out) daughters. Who would have known after all these years they would still like us? They continue to bring us joy when we least expect it. We didn't spend the day with them yesterday as Amy (and Mel) went to Canada for the closing ceremonies, and Angie (and Shannon) went to the zoo and Seattle for the day. We're going to celebrate tonight instead. Happy Birthday girls. :)

Our friends, Bob and Dy, surprised us on Saturday afternoon for a quick visit. It was a pleasant surprise but very short. We spent Saturday afternoon chatting up a storm, went and picked up some take out for dinner and we visited some more. The came back to the house on Sunday morning and we laughed all morning until Dave and Val got home (they had Bob and Dy's dog Woody). Friends really can lift your spirits even when you thought they didn't need any help.

Yesterday Rick showed a little improvement from how he's been feeling (let me stress the "little"). He still is not himself so we've got a long way to go. The only thing he's been doing well at is getting sleep but apparently his body needs it.

He says his chest is feeling better and that gives me relief. I could only imagine there was something in there I didn't want to hear about. Let's pray this is his week for recovery.

Tomorrow is another big day at Seattle Cancer Care. I'm due for chemo, but before they do it, they have to review my CT scan and brain MRI from Friday. If the stuff in my brain in growing, we may stop chemo and do some radiation on the brain. I'm confident that everything is STABLE and I'll just keep getting that rotten chemo that makes me feel lousy for a week. That's my pick of the week.

I only got up this early to get some water. I think I'll go snuggle back into bed. I have an early day tomorrow. No need in making it 2 days in a row :)

Dreaming Big,
Dor

PS. You should see my new bathroom...it looks like a piece of art. Thanks Dave, Val, Jake, Angie, and Shannon.... HGTV here we come :)

Time to Rest

2010-02-24T19:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Dad was supposed to have chemo in Seattle... key word being "supposed" to. That didn't happen. He hasn't felt well in quite a while and it's fair to say that he never recovered from his last round of chemo two weeks ago. For the past two weekends my dad has spent the majority of his time on the couch, sleeping, with a painful look on his face and a heating pad on his chest. Dad just hasn't been himself and he would be the first to admit it.

Prior to making the trip to Seattle yesterday we had already spoken to his oncology nurse in Seattle and it was determined that he wasn't well enough to have another round of chemo. They did however want to see him and get some blood work. We arrived in Seattle just before 8am, with over two hours already behind us. All of us were exhausted and dad looked visibly frustrated. I asked him what his number was for the day... with one being bad and ten being good. He told me he was a 4. He had reported that he was a 5.8 on Sunday (the .8 due to the Olympics that were on the TV screen) and a 6 on Monday, so the 4 caught me off guard. He hadn't been eating as much this past week so we weren't surprised to learn that he had lost 6-8 pounds since his last appointment.

After talking to the doctor it was determined that dad needed to get a chest/abdomen CT scan prior to heading home. They said it was possible that he would be hospitalized due to the unusual pain he was experiencing in his chest. We were happy that a scan was scheduled because we really believed that something was wrong. My dad doesn't complain about anything but he has really been uncomfortable this past week. The only bad part was that he couldn't eat before the scan and the scan was scheduled for 2:30pm.... 5 hours away. We found a little cubby hole in the waiting room and made it "home." Mom fell asleep on the mini couch with her oxygen tank, and dad fell asleep in the chair. That is how most of the day was spent.

His CT scan took place as scheduled and we met with the doctor immediately after. He told us that nothing alarming was discovered on the chest CT scan, and certainly nothing that would be causing such severe discomfort. Unfortunately though, the CT of his liver showed a 20% growth from the last scan. The cancer progression and the rising CEA counts are indications that his chemo is not working. This chemo combination was the last thing his doctor had as an option. So, as of now my dad has stopped his treatment and he will let his body begin to detox from the three straight years of chemo. If any of his discomfort is from too much chemo in his system, he will begin to feel better in the next few weeks. As far as the cancer goes, we can only hope that it too will "rest" as my dad takes some time off.

There was supposed to be a new clinical trial in April for my dad's type of cancer but it has now been moved tentatively to May. If the trial does in fact happen, and my dad is feeling well enough to sign up for it, he will certainly have that option. Right now though, he needs to rest, eat, and give his body a break from all of the harsh chemicals. Time will tell how his body responds.

All of this news is still fresh and new and a little difficult to swallow. With that being said, please continue to keep my parents in your thoughts as you go about your normal day. We are a strong group and we are appreciating each other more than ever. Thank you for your continued support.

Dream Big-
Amy

Still crazy after all these weeks

2010-02-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a terrible job keeping up with the blog. So....let me give you a little update.

Life has been so much easier at home with Kelly (and Val) around all the time. They have both made life a lot more fun now that I spend so much time at home. They took me out again this week for some fresh air and a little personal shopping (a girl needs that every once in a while).

Chemo took it's toll on Rick and I this time, (I had a tummy ache that I couldn't get rid of) and he is still extremely fatigued and has a poor appetitie. We're working on making that better with some meds, and just encouraging him to rest whenever he feels like it. I've actually felt much better the past 3 or 4 days. Let's hope it stays that way.

Rick has chemo again on Tuesday. I'm not sure they'll even let him have it since he hasn't recovered from his last round. We'll just have to wait and see.

We're enjoying watching the Olympics (I try not to cry when the National Anthem is played or they tell some amazing success story...I'm not very successful with my dry eye endeavor). What amazing athletes. Speaking of amazing athletes....Stanwood Boys Basketball clinched a spot in State at tonights game against Cascade. The last time our boys made it to State was in 2002 so they really deserve a shot at the big dance.   Congratulations Boys I'm really proud of you!

Jake has been really sick with the "flu" since late Wednesday night. He stays as far away from us as he can and always has a mask and gloves on.   He had the flu shot but who knows which flu hit him. He was so sick that he broke the blood vessels in the whites of his eyes, all around his eyes, and cheeks. He looked terrible yesterday...today he's finally looking a little better.

The girls have all been here this past week doing their part to try and keep us well. It's always nice to get a visit, or a phone call from them when I'm cooped up in the house. I'm never without love and encouragment.

I have my nice lawn furniture on the deck so when the sun is out and I need fresh air, my air cord is long enough to let me out on the porch to enjoy it.

I missed Kelly this weekend again. She is only my helper during the week and even then she's only doing it out of the kindness of her heart, but after seeing her everyday...I get sad on the weekends when we don't hang out.   I need to get a life. :)

To all my school buddies, and booster club buddies, knitting friends, and lifetime favorites...stop by and visit whenever you get the chance. I miss your smiling faces as well and you must have some juicy tales to tell. Just kidding. I just need to see your smiles :)

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Valentine's Day is approaching us :)

2010-02-12T08:50:00.000-08:00

Chemo week has gone pretty well so far this week. I'm staying on top of any symptoms that come my way before they hit me hard. Last night I was almost back to my old self again (however this moring I woke up to a bout of nauseaous). Rick had a light version of chemo on Tuesday, but he is still feeling kindof miserable. We'll get this routine figured out soon...I promise.

I want to wish you all a fabulous Valentine's Day with your honey. Take time to enjoy each other's company,go out for dinner and a movie, don't forget to let them know how much they are loved.

Time for me to nebulize and take some morning meds. I hope to write more later.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Who dat?

2010-02-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

Way to go Saints! What an exciting Super Bowl it turned out to be. Drew Brees, what a classy guy.
I didn't win any money on my "pools", but Melana, Val, Angie and Rick did. We spread the money around :)

Have a safe night heading home from your Super Bowl party. Life is precious.

Dreaming Big,
Doreen

Happy Saturday

2010-02-06T15:22:00.000-08:00

I have so much to share with you over the past week, but I've been a little lazy at the blog. Not only did we have amazing friends and family give our yard an overhaul, but on Monday a dear friend (Russ Bumgarner...went to school with Amy and Angie) came over in the morning and pressure washed our house with bleach and put stuff on our roof to kill the moss. I'm not kidding, the house sparkles as you drive up the driveway. Then on Tuesday, Jeff Fernandes (a friend of mine from high school who has had a window cleaning business for 26 years) came over and cleaned all 22 of our windows, inside and out. Birds have been hitting the windows all week...they'd never seen the windows so clean.

Yesterday, Kelly and Val rearranged the living room...I swear I feel like I live in a new house. It's beautiful...if only we could find a place for all the paperwork that comes in the mail...

My shopping experience was great on Thursday (though I almost ran out of oxygen), I went to the basketball game last night to watch the Stanwood girls (and Angie reffing). Almost ran out of oxygen again. I guess I need to work on that a little better. I had no idea how important air was until I don't get any. :)

We're all getting revved up for Super Bowl tomorrow. Amy won't be able to make it (she has Air Force drill) so we'll be having a betting pool (please don't tell her), great food, mardi gras beads, great crowd, can't wait for the commercials, and cold beverages. Mine will be water, yummy.

Tuesday is a big day for Rick and I. We both have chemo (Val is taking us) so the week will be a little rough. I'm dreaming big thoughts for a healthy outcome.for Rick and I..We could use your good vibes as well.

Time to take a nice long oatmeal bath. It helps with the dry itchy skin caused by chemo.

Go New Orleans Saints.....!

Dreaming Big,
Dor